


Angst/Fluff One-Shots

by theuncertainauthor



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Gay, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Language, Multi, Musicals, No Smut, One-Shots, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Jared Kleinman, Trans Michael Mell, non-binary characters, trans connor murphy, yeet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-05-02 23:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 21,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14556246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theuncertainauthor/pseuds/theuncertainauthor
Summary: Dear Evan Hansen, Be More Chill, Heathers, and Voltron angsty things. If you're sensitive to suicide/self harm/depression, then skip those chapters, I'll tell you which ones those are. By the way almost all of these are gay so you have been warned. Hope you enjoy!





	1. Even If You Hurt Me, I Still Want To Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> So this is fluff, and we're starting off normally and sticking to one musical only rip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're starting off normally and only sticking to one musical, rip. Fluff btw

He trembled against the tears sliding down his cheeks. He tasted salt. He whimpered when he looked down, and the tears fell faster the moment he laid eyes on the picture he was holding. Jeremy, his best friend, had his arm around Michael and he was smiling like he was the happiest person alive. That was on Jeremy's fourteenth birthday, when he had taken Michael to Disney and Universal for an entire week. The two had been so happy, and even four years later looking at the picture, Michael could see the lovestruck smile he had for Jeremy. Michael started to cry harder. Who knows where their relationship would've gone if it hadn't been for Christine? Michael liked Christine, they were super close, but she and Jeremy were dating while Michael was in love with Jeremy. He hadn't explicitly told Christine, but he was sure she must've picked up on something. Finally, after six years of pining, Michael couldn't take it anymore. He called Jeremy over and confessed a few hours earlier, but Jeremy didn't return the feelings. Instead, he called Michael a freak because he was gay. Only Christine knew he liked guys, but he had finally told Jeremy. Then Jeremy left. Nothing more. Michael's phone dinged and he looked at it through tears. It was Christine, telling him that Jeremy didn't mean it and that he knew she still loved him no matter what his sexuality was. Just as he finished reading it, he got a call from Jeremy. He answered it, but didn't say anything. "Micha?" Jeremy asked gently. At the sound of the nickname that only Jeremy used, Michael burst into a new set of tears. "I'll be over in a minute." Jeremy said before he hung up. Michael, who was struck with a wave of panic, called Christine. She picked up on the first ring. "Michael?" She asked, the same way Jeremy did. "He's coming over and I'm scared, Chris--I'm so scared," He cried. She whispered soothingly into the phone until he had calmed down. "It'll be okay. He should be over any second. Go to the bathroom, splash some cold water on your face, and you should probably change your shirt. It'll be okay, Michael," She said. "Okay. Thanks Chris. Love you." He whispered, hearing her tell him that she loved him too before he hung up. He followed her instructions and put his CREEPS sweater on. He padded down to the basement and grabbed a Mountain Dew Red before turning on his speaker and blasting Bob Marley.

Not two minutes later, the basement door opened. Michael half expected it to be his parents, about to tell him to turn the music down, but then he remembered that they were away for work for the weekend. "Micha?" It was Jeremy. He shut the door behind him and sat down on the couch in front of the T.V. with Michael after going over to the speaker and turning it down so Bob Marley was now background sound. "What do you want?" Michael asked, throat choked up with tears. "I came t-" Michael chuckled bitterly, interrupting Jeremy. "Jer, I don't want an apology. I don't care." Jeremy grabbed Michael's hand and gripped it it tight, not letting Michael rip his hand away no matter how much he tried. "Micha, I broke up with Christine." Michael froze. "After...what I said, I realized I didn't want to be with her. I...Micha, I li-" In Jeremy's moment of vulnerability, Michael ripped his hand away and jumped up, hot tears flowing down his cheeks. "No! No no no, just stop! Stop! I don't want your pity!" He yelled. Jeremy stood up and faced Michael. "Just go home, just le-" Michael was cut off by Jeremy's lips pressed against his. Michael melted into the kiss against his will. Jeremy supported him until they collapsed on the couch. Michael still had tears silently flowing down his cheeks, so Jeremy wiped them away, concerned. "What's wrong, Micha?" Michael shook his head. "It's just--I'm so happy, but how's Christine?" Jeremy chuckled. "She said she's noticed that you like me and that she was starting to like someone else so she was actually trying to figure out how to break up with me anyway. She's with Jake now. We're better off friends anyway." Michael nodded, then yawned. He snuggled up against Jeremy's chest, smiling. "I love you, aking tadhana." He murmured. Jeremy smiled and kissed Michael's forehead. "I love you too. Goodnight, Michael."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael Mell is my son and I will protect him at all costs.
> 
> Also "aking tadhana" means "my destiny" in Filipino. So I'm not high and autocorrect didn't fuck me up this time


	2. Your Choice!

Hi! I really hope you liked my first chapter! I actually have quite a few of these kinda stocked up in a folder, so I'll be posting another one today, but I did want to ask for a preference of the 3rd (technically 2nd) chapter. What fandom(s) do you guys want to read? What relationships? Fluff or angst? 

So with relationships, I know some people can be touchy about polygamy, certain sexualities, and/or trans characters, so I wanted to say that I am open to writing any of these. I am a very open minded person and will not judge you for what you want. 

But I won't write smut. Sorry! ♡


	3. How Can I Let Go When You're Still Here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Evan Hansen this time! Married Connor and Evan. 
> 
> TW!: Suicide attempt.

He took a deep breath. Finally. His husband wasn't home; he could do what he had been longing to do. He tied the knot with shaking hands. The air in the attic was incredibly stuffy and hot; he was having trouble breathing. Oh well; it wouldn't matter for long. He pulled the chair up and shakily stood on it. He had left a note in the kitchen, so Connor would find it before he found Evan. He slipped the noose around his neck. Connor. What little breath he had caught in his throat. Connor would be home in less than five minutes. Could he really do this? Could he leave the love of his life and his best friend? Tears started to run down his cheeks and his breath came in staccato gasps. He tore the noose off from around his neck and slowly climbed down from the chair. He didn't have the energy to get down from the attic, so he lay there, breathing in stale air as he wept.

"Evan? Ev? Baby, I'm home," Connor called, setting his bag down on the kitchen counter. He saw the letter from Evan, and his throat tightened. He read the first two words, 'I'm sorry', and he couldn't breathe. He threw it down and raced down the hall. The ladder to the attic was down, and he started to panic. His anxiety climaxed, his vision swum, and he could only think of Evan. He repeated his name like a mantra as he climbed the ladder to the attic: 'Evanevanevanevan'. He looked up, expecting to see his husband's body dangling from the ceiling, but instead, nothing was there. He looked down and saw Evan reaching towards him. Connor's instincts took over. He protectively took his sobbing husband into his arms and climbed down, never letting go of Evan. He gripped Evan in a tight hug once they got down, extremely relieved. "Oh Evan, baby..." Connor whispered into Evan's hair, cradling him in his arms. "Con...I'm so sorry..." Evan sobbed into Connor's shirt. "Shh, it's okay...I've got you, love." After a long 13 minutes, Evan finally calmed down enough to look at Connor. The moment Evan's eyes met Connor's, Connor crashed his lips onto Evan's, kissing him like it might be the last time. "You know I love you, Evan Murphy. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I will never take you for granted." Connor crooned. Evan tearily nodded, clinging to him. "I love you too, Connor Murphy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone catch my Voltron reference? Comment if you did! If you weren't hurting then, I bet you are now! >:3


	4. We Thought It Would Be For Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Evan go to a gay pride parade but it doesn't end so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW!: Death, suicide, and gay hate.
> 
> Angst in case you didn't notice.

He whimpered, pressing his hands to his stomach to try and staunch the blood flow. Tears were streaming down his face and it hurt to move. He could see the blood seeping through his fingers, staining his hands and running down his sides, despite his efforts. "Hey babe, I'm-oh my god!" Connor dropped the box he was holding and ran over to his boyfriend. "No no no no no no--oh, Evan, what the hell happened?" Connor asked through sobs, wadding his favorite hoodie up and placing it on the wound to stop the flow. "Two guys--anti's--shot me--" Evan said, breaking off to cough up more blood. Evan's eyes landed on the small black box Connor had dropped. That's right. Connor had ran back to the hotel to get something but wouldn't let Evan come with him. And that's when they jumped him. "An ambulance is on its way, it'll--" Connor broke off as she watched Evan reach for the black box and open it.

Inside lay a silver ring with the words, "For Forever" etched into the side. Evan looked up at Connor, who was crying silently. "Yes," Evan murmured. Connor cocked his head to the side, indicating his confusion. "Yes. Yes, I would love to become Evan Murphy," Evan said louder, smiling. Connor started to cry harder, his hands shaking as he slipped the ring onto Evan's left ring finger. Evan smiled wider as admired the ring on his finger. It fit perfectly. "I love it. I love you, Connor Murphy," Evan murmured as he closed his eyes. "I love you too, Evan Murphy," Connor whispered. He stroked Evan's hair, then realised Evan wasn't breathing. "No! No, Evan, baby, wake up, please..." Connor sobbed. Connor couldn't bear the thought of not being able to hear his laugh, see his smile, or be able to kiss his beloved again; it physically pained him. Connor looked around and saw the gun used to shoot Evan. He dialed 911. Evan had somehow managed to take the men's license plate down. "Hello? Yes, I have a report of a murder." Connor told the woman the license plate number before hanging up. "I'm coming, love." Connor lifted his head to the sky and put the barrel of the gun to his throat. He closed his eyes before he pulled the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this was depressing. Have a nice day.


	5. Don't Leave Me...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of the song "Migraine" by Twenty One Pilots
> 
> Also sorry the bad quality I made this in like 15 minutes. I promise the next one will be better. Angst btw.  
> TW!: Self harm, suicidal thoughts, suicide

Connor slumped against his bed, pulling his hood over his hair. His head was pounding, the voices in his head screaming, fighting, shouting, crying; it was so hard to take. 'Just kill yourself, you worthless, stupid excuse for a shitbag of a person!' They screamed. 'Put us out of our misery!' They wailed. 'Look what you've done!' They shouted. Connor covered his ears, tears escaping his eyes. Once they did, they kept coming. Tears fell until he was gasping for breath, nauseated. He groped for his pillow, something to grip and squeeze and keep him grounded while he was dragged into the depths of the black ocean by the voices. He gasped, shuddering, sobbing into his pillow. It was blue. It reminded him of his boyfriend, but that didn't help. Instead, it made him feel worse for everything he's put Evan through. He laughed between sobs, a hysterical, insane kind of laugh. He stumbled to the bathroom and grabbed his razor. He hasn't cut in so long, he's been getting better. Still gasping for breath through tears, Connor grabbed his keys, a rope, and ran out of the door. He jumped in his car and sped off towards the orchard, barely able to see behind blurry tears. Once he got to the orchard, he ran until he couldn't anymore. He collapsed, his head swimming with lack of air and all of the voices still fighting. He pulled out the rope and tied it into a noose with shaking hands. The tears never stopped coming, and he just wanted the pain to end, he just wanted it all to end...  
He took out the razor and swiped it across his left wrist, watching the blood bloom to the surface. It calmed him the littlest bit, in a strange way. He kept doing it until he had no more room, then he switched to his right. He was starting to get dizzy. In a moment of better thinking, he pulled out his phone and texted Evan. 'Help me...I love you' he sent before he was pulled back under and then the moment was gone. He looped the rope over the tree, slipped his head through, and jumped.

Evan ran through the orchard, yelling. "Connor! CONNOR!" He kept running until he stumbled and fell. He looked up, and his heart stopped. Connor was hanging above him, his chocolate brown hair tangled, his face pale and still streaked with tears, his eyes bloodshot and empty, seemingly staring at Evan. Evan couldn't tear his eyes away from Connor's. The once beautiful brown was now dull and lifeless. His stomach heaved and he threw up, coughing. He was sobbing, unable to breathe. He stood shakily. And that's when he saw Connor's arms. They were still dripping blood, and Evan could barely see any clean skin behind all of the cuts. Evan collapsed, unable to stand it. He sobbed, his entire body shaking as he kneeled under Connor, whose dead eyes seemed to stare at him from above.

(cause sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I have another (Voltron) angst coming and Heathers fluff so hold in there


	6. Lightning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thunderstorms give my son, the insanely cool Jared Kleinman, anxiety. But he has his boyfriends there to help him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Polyamory! Gay! Yay!

Jared was humming to himself as he put his clothes in the wash. His boyfriends were supposed to be home soon and he couldn't wait. It was their second year anniversary, and he had even bought a new outfit for the occasion. He squeaked when the power suddenly went out, followed by a huge crack of thunder and a lightning strike visible through the curtains. His chest tightened as he realized what was happening. Just then, the ran started to pelt down, hard. He ran to their bedroom and crawled under the covers, trying to calm himself. He put his hands over his ears but still flinched whenever thunder rolled. He didn't know why thunderstorms gave him panic attacks, they just did. He guessed it was the loud noises and the flashing colours and everything else. He didn't know how long it had been before he started to cry, but he couldn't breathe. He gasped in breaths with tears running down his face, shaking. He screamed when he felt the covers being lifted off of him. But then they were back down and he had two warm bodies next to him, pressing him in between them. He pressed his face into Connor's chest, sobbing. Evan kissed the back of his neck and whispered soothing words into his ear while Connor held him close and rubbed his arm. After what seemed like forever, the storm finally stopped, and soon after that, Jared calmed down. Connor and Evan still protectively smushed him in between them. "I'm so sorry guys. This was supposed to be our anniversary and I fucking ruined it because I'm a little bitch and can't handle a goddamn thunderstorm," Jared spat out, slightly muffled by Connor's chest as he started to cry again. His thoughts were racing. 'You're such a baby, they probably pretend to still love you because they're afraid you won't be able to take it, you should've killed yourself already so you wouldn't have to ruin their lives anymore, they're sick and tired of having to deal with your bullshit.' As if Evan could hear his thoughts, he turned Jared around and fiercely kissed him. "No, Jared. You didn't ruin it. You're not a little bitch and were not pretending to still love you. You're such a funny, kind, outgoing guy, and we love you. Plus, everyone has a few flaws. It's really not a big deal," Evan whispered, looking into his eyes and stroking his cheek. Connor blew a hot breath on the back of Jared's neck. "Also, it gave us an excuse to cuddle with our favourite person, even if it was a bad excuse." Jared giggled. "Like you needed one. And it's okay, it gave me an excuse to cuddle with my favourite person," Jared whispered, craning his neck back to kiss Connor, who happily kissed him back. "What about me?" Evan asked, feigning hurt. Jared nuzzled him. "It's okay, you're both my favourite people. Same level." Jared smiled at Connor and turned back around to kiss Evan. Evan hummed contentedly into the kiss. Connor leaned over to kiss Evan right after he and Jared broke apart, then laid back down. "I love you both so much. You're my entire world and I don't know what I'd do without either of you," Jared whispered, closing his eyes. "I love you both so much as well. You get me through my days, weeks, months, years, and life," Evan whispered back. Connor hummed in agreement, but he hesitated before saying something. "Honestly, I don't even know where I'd be or if I'd be if I hadn't met you two. You're the reason I'm still alive and I'd give the world for both of you," He murmured. "Oh, Con..." Evan whispered, his eyes filling up with tears. "No. No, no crying on my watch," Jared muttered, wiping them from Evan's eyes and kissing both of his eyelids. He then turned to face Connor. "We love you as well," He said, smashing his lips against Connor's, his eyes screwed shut. After a few more kisses and proclamations of love, the three fell asleep holding each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but seriously can we talk about how amazing Will Roland is? He supports women's day (wears red), he's so humble and sweet, he can auction and he did and donated to charity, and his body positivity! He has a muffin top that he's actually kind of proud of! (Go watch Never Have I Ever with the DEH cast to go see what I'm talking about). Also I promise Heathers is next


	7. We're A Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica and JD have a child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the closest thing you will get to me writing smut
> 
> So this is older JD and Veronica. JD survives and gets better and he and Veronica get a little house somewhere. I would say they're like 21 here or something

Veronica stroked JD's chest slowly, revelling in the underlying muscle. JD kissed her hair, running his hand down her spine and chuckling when she shivered. "Dead girl walking now, huh," He whispered. She smiled up at him, exhausted after their session. "I'm only alive when I'm with you," She whispered back, swinging her leg over JD's waist and straddling him. She leaned down to kiss him. He rolled his hips up before she could, laughing when she gasped and grabbed his hair. The scent of sex slowly filled the room again.

Veronica's heart stopped. Two pink lines appeared on the pregnancy test. "JD!" She yelled, panic starting to arise in her chest. No one answered. "JASON DEAN!" She screamed, her panic bubbling over. She was starting to hyperventilate when he slammed open the door. "Ver! Is everything okay?" He gasped, checking her all over. With him in the room, she went numb. She slowly handed him the pregnancy test and watched as his eyes widened. "Oh my god, you're..." He trailed off. His eyes lit up as he dropped the test and wrapped her into a hug. "Pregnant! Oh my god, Veronica, we're going to be a family!" She felt a wetness on her shoulder and realized he was crying. His excitement was infectious; she hugged him harder and felt her happy tears escape as well.

"What if I'm like my father?" JD fretted. "You won't be. If you start to become like him, I'll stop you. But you won't, because you are different," She said, smiling up at him. JD's eyes found Veronica's, frightened. "What if I'm like my mother?" He whispered, his eyes not meeting hers anymore. He was referring to his past, something they never talked about. She kissed him hard, as if bringing him back to the present. "No. We'll make sure that doesn't happen," She whispered fiercely. He nodded and gave her a weak smile, trying to convince himself. "It'll be okay."

"Oh, God! JD! Oh, my God!" Veronica screamed, gripping his hand. "Push!" The OB, Dr. Caitlin yelled. "You can do it, love!" JD encouraged. Suddenly, another voice joined the room. Veronica collapsed against the bed, panting with exhaustion. "It's a girl!" Dr. Caitlin exclaimed, smiling. She handed the child to the nurses, who cleaned her off and gave her to Veronica. Veronica was beaming. "What should we name her?" JD asked, kissing the top of his daughter's head. "Lila Claire," Veronica decided. "It's perfect," JD murmured. They were a family.

(BONUS - 4 YEARS LATER)

"You're grounded!"  
"No!" Lila said, crossing her arms. "Then no blanket and teddy bear!" JD snapped. Lila put her arms down at her sides, her tiny hands balled into fists. "No!" She said more firmly. JD glowered at her until she rolled her eyes and stomped to her room. "I'd rather be grounded," She muttered, just within earshot. "What did you say?" JD asked, incredulous. When he got no answer, he looked at Veronica, who was leaning against the door frame, smirking. "She's your child!" He exclaimed, pointing down the hall. "Actually," Veronica said, "she's ours. I carried her, but you impregnated me, so I fully blame this on you." JD smiled and laughed.

They were a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WhAt dO yOu ThInK
> 
> Sorry this was so short. I'm posting a Kleinsen fic today, but be warned. It ends rather abruptly and I don't know if I might make a part 2. I guess we'll see if people like it?
> 
> Edit: So I just managed to pull myself out of the black hole that is Boyf Friends and TreeBros (still stuck in Kleinsen and Sincerely Three) only to:  
> a.) Get pulled back into Boyf Friends and Treebros, but also  
> b.) Get sucked into the vortex that is BillDip. 
> 
> So don't be surprised.


	8. Pining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael hopelessly pining for Heather MacNamara, rip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kleinsen coming soon after; I explained why I wrote this at the end. And yes I did mix like 5 musicals to fully include everyone when this happened

Michael kept glancing towards the door. He was anxiously sitting in his seat, waiting for Heather to come in. Heather Duke glanced over at him and smirked. "Really, Michael?" She muttered. "Shut up!" Michael hissed, straightening up and grinning as Heather MacNamara entered the room. Heather took her usual seat next to Michael and immediately struck up a conversation with him. "I had the weirdest dream last night! We were on a bus sitting next to each other and we got off to go to a gas station or something. When we got back on, I was in the passenger seat and I couldn't figure out how to get back to you," Heather said, laughing. Michael was listening, but he was mostly thinking about two things in that sentence.  
1.) Heather dreamed about him (?!!!!) And  
2.) Heather wanted to get back to him.  
Heather finished her story and they resumed talking when Jared Kleinman pulled out The Game™, grinning widely. "Let's play!" He exclaimed. A few people joined in; Heather MacNamara, Michael, Jared (obviously), Jeremy Heere, Peggy and Eliza Schuyler, Evan Hansen, and James Madison. Heather Duke was talking with John Laurens, Keith Kogane was listening to music with (most noticeably) Alexander Hamilton and Hunk. A few other people were talking in the back, but Michael didn't care enough to fully see who they were. He was too focused on The Game™. Not how Heather smiled and laughed. Not on how their knees were occasionally touching. Eventually, they had to pack up for second period, and Michael was reluctantly released from his torture. "Michael! Wait for me?" Heather called. Michael nodded. As they were about to leave, Heather stuck her arm out. "Ready?" She asked, cheekily smiling. Michael took her arm and couldn't hold back his huge smile. They were casually chatting with Heather Duke walking behind them until she tugged on Michael's sleeve. "You're gonna have to tell her soon, you know. School ends in two days." Heather Duke whispered. Michael had been trying to avoid that fact. "We're hanging out over the summer; it's fine." He whispered back before resuming his conversation with Heather. 

"Alright, I gotta go. See ya later Michael!" Heather said, smiling and waving at Michael before going into her class. Michael waved back and couldn't get rid of the massive smile that stretched across his face no matter how hard he tried. He didn't really mind. After all, it was her making him smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Replace Michael with me and Heather with my crush and there's my reason. I guess this was a vent fic? Hahahaha fun fact in this story John Laurens is my ex *finger guns*
> 
> Uggghhhh I'm such a pan pining mess this is a mess everything is a mess help plz


	9. The String

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The String and Kleinsen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a Hanahaki Disease AU written but I dunno everything about it so if someone knows something, tell me please 
> 
> TW!: Suicide attempt

I was rubbing my eyes again. This was beginning to get exhausting, but I have to go pick up Evan. 'Good morning, time to start the day,' I think grumpily as I roll out of bed to hop into the shower.

"H-Hey Evan!" I call, inwardly cringing. I almost never stutter. "Hey Jare," Evan greets me before pulling out his English homework. "Did you do it?" I ask, glancing at Evan then immediately regretting it. The tip of Evan's tongue is stuck out in concentration and his nose is scrunched up. I fight down a blush as I return my eyes to the road and miss Evan's answer. "Huh?" I ask, mentally kicking myself. I sound so stupid. "I-I said th-that I did it, b-but I was che-checking my answers," Evan repeats. I nod and re-focus on the road. A while passes and Evan is picking at his cast. "I get my c-cast of tomorrow," He mentions. "Congrats," I mumble, a flare of jealously springing up in my chest as I see him slowly trace Connor's name. "Has Z-Zoe told you an-anything about her S-String?" Evan asks me hopefully. I became friends with Zoe through our mutual love of jazz band, so I update Evan on her String. It normally bugs me a bit, but this morning I'm mentally cursing at Evan for asking, even though I feel awful for it. I would rather shoot myself in the foot than hurt Evan, but I don't really have that option right now. "Her String appeared yesterday while she was with Alana," I say, seeing him visibly deflate. "It's Alana," I finish unwillingly. His String hadn't appeared yet. I see Evan hurriedly wiping tears from his eyes and my heart aches. I want nothing more than to stop the car and wrap him in a hug, but I can't, so I grip the steering wheel tighter. But once we get to school, Evan is falling apart, so I give up. I stop the car in the parking lot, pull him into the back seat with me, and cradle him. His walls break then, and soon his body is shaking with sobs. Evan balled his fists into my shirt as if afraid that I would let him go, and despite seeing him in pain, my heart is pounding that he's actually in my arms. "It's okay, Ev," I whisper. Eventually, Evan calms down. "J-Jared? Can we...no-not stay at school t-today?" Evan sniffs. My eyes widen, but I can't deny him. So I say yes. I get back into the driver's seat, start the car, and drive. After 20 minutes, I finally get to Alá Mode. I speed-walk in, and, tripping over my tongue the entire time, order a vanilla cone and a mint chocolate chip cone. I pay, walk back to my car, and hand the vanilla cone to Evan. He gratefully takes it before I start driving to his favourite spot in the orchard. We end up sitting on the crest of the hill, watching the trees sway in the breeze as we eat our ice cream. Evan takes a deep breath. His words are shaky. "I really thought that she might be the one, you know?" My heart shattered as I nodded. Evan doesn't like me and will never like me. I had to fight back tears of my own as I looked at my empty finger. Who was my soul mate and where was he? It had taken me long enough to realize and accept I'm gay and much longer to accept my crush on Evan. "Jared? Y-You okay?" Evan asks. When I hear the worried tone in his voice, my walls crumble. I start sobbing, my shoulders shaking as I bury my face in my hands. Evan quickly takes me into his arms and rubs my back to calm me. It makes a certain memory surface, one kind of painful to think about. It was at the end of 8th grade, and I had just sprained my ankle. It hurt like hell, but Evan was rubbing my back to calm me. I had looked up into Evan's eyes. His were so big, blue, and worried; it was too painful. It made me cry harder, but I pushed Evan away from me. I pulled myself together and smiled with the promise of a later explanation ghosting my lips.

We spent the rest of the day climbing trees. Well, at least until I fell and broke my leg. It fucking hurt so much worse than the sprained ankle. Evan panicked and called 911 because we were too far away for him to carry me all the way back to the car. Or so we thought. He still tried and we had almost made it when the ambulance showed up. They loaded me onto a stretcher and took me to the hospital. 

When I woke up, I could already tell I was drugged up on pain medicine. Because of the harsh light, I refuse to open my eyes until my left ring finger starts tingling. When I do, I gasp. A red string is attached to my finger. After a few minutes of staring at it, Evan bursts into my room, smiling so wide. "Jared! It appeared, my String, it..." He trails off after his eyes follow the String to my finger. My heart leaps into my throat. The boy of my dreams, my crush since 8th grade, is my soulmate. My mouth suddenly feels drier than the Sahara. "W-We're..." Evan whispers. "Soulmates." I finish, testing out how the words feels in my mouth. A long few moments pass, and it finally sinks into Evan. Without saying another word, he turns and flees. I feel the tears rising but do nothing to stop them. I let them come, hard and fast, until I'm shaking with sobs. And that's when I notice the pain pump. I press the button, again and again, until my eyes feel heavy and my body is numb. My heart rate started to slow just as a nurse walks by, notices, and runs into the room. "Evan?" I slur. "Doctor! I need a doctor!" She's screaming. I close my eyes and will the medicine to work a hell of a lot faster.

I open my eyes slowly, blinking to let them adjust to the fierce brightness. I look around and see Heidi Hansen sitting next to me. It all comes rushing back. "Why?" I whisper, tears starting to steadily run from my cheeks. "Why couldn't you let me die?" Heidi touches her hand to my cheek gently, wiping away my tears. When she whispers, it's slow and soft. "Because the world needs people like you, Jared Kleinman."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor son didn't deserve this which did I write this jaRED DIDN'T DESERVE THIS
> 
> Also who got my BMC reference??
> 
> Also also: As I said, it ends rather abruptly and I don't know if I'll make a part 2 or not. I guess you guys decide


	10. We Knew It Would Be For Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternate ending to chapter 4, We Thought It Would Be For Forever. That was angst, now it's fluff
> 
> Slight TW!: Anti-gay slurs and fighting and language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE SHALL HAVE SOME FLUFFY TREEBROS TO CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF LGBTQ+ PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!

He pressed himself up against the alley wall, breathing shakily. Two guys were cornering him, shouting abuse. "You like dick, fag?" One yelled, curling his top lip up in disgust. The other one, a redhead, maliciously laughed. "He does! You do, don't you, pansy?" The redhead called, brown eyes flashing under the streetlights. "P-Please, I-I do-don't want-t a-any, u-um, tro-trouble," Evan said weakly. He could feel the panic starting to kick in; it always made his stutter worse. The first male sneered. "What's wrong, fairy? Dick down your throat?" Evan rapidly shook his head, tying to catch his breath. It was just so hard to breathe. They were still advancing, and Evan started to cry when he saw the first man pull out a gun. Crying only made it worse; he was choking on the breaths he was trying to suck in. "I think he's dying, dude!" The redhead cackled as he watched Evan sob. The brunette, the first one clicked the safety off. "Might as well finish the job," He said, grinning. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing, buddy?" Someone shouted from behind them. Evan almost collapsed in relief when he looked around the men to see who it was. Connor stood there, glaring at the men. His legs were spread apart, and Evan vaguely knew that by his stance, he was getting ready to run. Connor's long hair framed his face, his lip curled up into a snarl. "What are you, his boyfriend?" The redhead yelled, sneering. "Yeah, I am! So you better back the fuck up!" Connor yelled, tensing. He started to walk towards Evan, but halted when the brunette loaded the gun and aimed it at Connor. "NO!" Evan felt the guttural scream being ripped out of his chest. Connor's eyes locked with Evan's, silently telling him it'd be okay. On the outside, Connor was calm and ready to fight. However, on the inside, Connor was freaking out; fucking pissed and panicking and crying. But he couldn't let those emotions show. He went to take a step, but the leader spoke, a smug calm lacing his words. "Take one step and I'll blow your fucking head off." Connor froze. Evan started to cry harder, sobs racking his body. The brunette rolled his eyes and looked back. He backhanded Evan, the sound of skin of skin ringing throughout the air. Connor took his chance and sprinted towards the brunette. He tackled him, kicking the gun away as he beat the man into a pulp. "Hey! Get the hell off him, fag!" The redhead yelled, prying Connor off of the brunette and throwing him. Connor got up and ran towards the man with a surprising amount of speed. The man swung on Connor, but Connor ducked, twisted him around, grabbed the back of his hair, and slammed his head into the alley wall. The leader got off of the ground and started to run towards Connor, but Connor was quicker. He landed a quick kick to the brunette's stomach as the redhead crumpled to the ground, holding his face and screaming in pain. But the brunette caught Connor's foot and pulled up, making Connor fall and hit his head on the concrete. He groaned in pain, turning his head around to see Evan. The man was advancing towards Evan; his partner gone. Connor got up and stumbled towards him, regaining his senses. He kicked the man in the back on his left knee, making him crumple to the ground. Evan pulled out his phone and frantically dialed 911. "H-Hello? There's a fi-fight going o-on, and my b-boyfriend, he-" Evan cut off, wracked by a sob. "T-Two guys atta-attacked me and he p-protected me b-but now he's hu-hurt and--oh go-god, p-please hurry." Evan gave her their location and managed to pry Connor off of the man. Connor had been landing well placed kicks to the man's ribs, then transfered to punching him, every other word for every punch. "If-" punch. "You ever-" punch. "Touch-" punch. "My boyfriend-" punch. "I swear-" Evan had pried him off, but he was still yelling. "I swear to god I will end your fucking life!" Connor screamed. He turned to Evan and wrapped him in his arms. Evan was having a panic attack, and he needed to be calmed down. A minute or so later, and the ambulance came and look the three of them away.

Connor blinked at the bright lights of the hospital. Once his eyes adjusted, he looked around. Evan was sitting to his left, holding his hand. He wouldn't meet Connor's eyes. "Evan? Babe, you okay?" Jesus, Connor's throat felt like sandpaper. "It's just...god, I hate fi-fighting, and then you g-got into one, a-and you threatened to ki-kill him, and I-" Evan broke off, starting to sob. Connor felt awful. "Evan...Evan, he was going to kill you. He was going to end your life. I-I had to protect you," Connor said, wanting to look at Evan but not being able to. So he stared at the ceiling until someone would have thought it had personally offended him. Evan squeezed Connor's hand, but Connor just gently untangled his hand from Evan's. He didn't want to see the hurt in Evan's eyes, so he closed his and pretended to be asleep. He hoped Evan would go back to their hotel, but instead, Evan just made himself comfortable in the chair. After a good ten minutes, Connor gave up. He huffed and opened his eyes. "Connor, I get why you d-did it, but that doesn't mean I have to l-like it," Evan said more steadily. Connor couldn't take it. He blew up. "What, Evan?! Would you prefer I had just stood there and let you die?! Well, too bad, Evan Hansen! If either one of us is going to die, it's going to be me because YOU actually deserve to have a good life or a life at all!" Connor yelled at the ceiling. He heard Evan recoil before taking a huge breath. When he spoke, his voice was steel. "Connor Murphy, you listen to me. You are worthy. Do you understand me? You are worth of having and life and good one at that. And if that means me, then so be it." Connor's eyebrows drew together and he sighed. "Evan, I'm tired. I don't want to argue right now," He mumbled, turning on his side so his back was facing Evan. "Well, good, because I've made m-my point and there will be no more arguing to be do-done." Evan told him before getting up. "I'm going to get food." He said before leaving. Connor watched him leave and felt a small smile play on his lips. He left awful for what he said to Evan, but how the hell did he get so lucky?

""You're good to go!" The doctor chirped as she smiled at Connor. "Have at nice rest of your time!" She exclaimed as she let Connor and Evan go. They had made him stay overnight so his wounds could heal, and Connor was just glad it didn't mess up his reservations for tonight. "Evan, you brought nice clothes, right? You brought a suit like I told you to?" Connor questioned Evan on the ride home. "Yes, why?" Evan asked. Connor shook his head. "No reason. Just...be ready with it on by 6 tonight." He said, looking out of the window. "Uh...okay?"

"Evan? Evan, are you ready?" Evan anxiously checked his hair in mirror before making eye contact with himself. He guessed he didn't look too bad, so he opened the door. Connor's breath visibly caught in his throat as he basically eye-fucked Evan. Evan nervously giggled. "D-Do you li-like what you s-see?" He asked, staring at the floor as a blush spread across his cheeks. "Hell yes," Connor breathed out. "You d-don't look t-too bad yourself, mi-mister." Evan laughed. Connor had kept his hair down, and it brushed his shoulders. His pristine black suit really made his eyes pop, and Evan loved it. "Shall we?" Connor asked, holding his arm to Evan. They walked downstairs, got into their cab, and left.

"We're here!" Connor announced, sweeping his arms out in a dramatic gesture as he beamed at Evan. "O-Oh my god." Evan breathed out, looking around. They were at the fanciest restaurant in that side of the city. "Connor, d-did you re-really.."  
"Yes I did! Now let's go!" Connor could feel the nerves knotting his stomach as he dragged Evan inside. "Hello, table for Murphy?" He asked, pointedly look at the waiter. He nodded and led them to their table. "I'll bring your champagne in a moment," The waiter said in a lilting French accent. "What do you think, Evan?" Connor asked, worry crossing his face as Evan looked around. "I think it's wonderful," Evan said, too in awe to notice he didn't stutter. "Do you know what the monk who created champagne said when he tasted it? He called out to the other monks and said, 'Come quickly, I am tasting the stars.' I hope you enjoy your stars, mes amies." The waiter said, grinning as put two champagne flutes down, one in front of Connor, the other in front of Evan. Evan was about to take a sip of his when he noticed something glinting in it. He took a closer look and gasped. "Connor, is this--" Connor took the champagne flute from Evan, fished it out and dried it, then kneeled in front of Evan, holding a silver ring had "For Forever" inscripted on the side. "Evan Hansen, you've been with me every day since the beginning of our senior year in high school, and for that, I thank you. You're the one who stopped me from swallowing the pills and I am eternally grateful. If you hadn't made me fall in love with you so quickly, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Evan, you are the light of my days. You're the reason I get up in the morning, you're the reason I smile, and you're the love of my life. My soul mate, my best friend, and I'm hoping, my soon-to-be husband. Evan Hansen, will you marry me?" Connor asked, tears pricking the corner of his eyes. Evan had tears flowing down his cheeks, and he nodded so fast Connor was afraid his head would come off. "Yes. Yes, I will." Evan choked out. Connor slipped the ring onto Evan's left ring finger before enveloping him in a huge hug. "I love you, Evan." Connor whispered, tears spilling over. "I love you too, Connor." Even murmured through tears as he buried his face in Connor's shoulder.

(BONUS -- 5 MONTHS LATER ON AUGUST 23RD)

Evan and Connor stood at the altar, both in snow white suits and staring at the other. Evan had tears silently flowing down his cheeks, and every once in a while, Connor would lovingly wipe them off. Jared would non-stop suggestively wiggle his eyebrows at Connor whenever Connor glanced over at him. Everyone knew that happened on your wedding night, Evan and Connor were no exception. Jared was Evan's best man, and their wedding was relatively small. On Evan's side sat Heidi Hansen, the Kleinmans, and Jeremy Heere and his dad. On Connor's side, Zoe was the Maid of Honour, so his mom and Michael Mell and his parents sat on his side. "You may now kiss the groom." The priest announced, and everyone cheered when their lips met. "I love you, Evan Murphy." Connor whispered onto Evan's lips. Evan smiled wider than he ever had as he whispered the words back. "I love you too, Connor Murphy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm actually curious where's my pansexual/panromantic fam at?
> 
> And NO, Larry was not invited to the wedding cause Larry's an ASSWIPE


	11. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared wakes up at the beginning of senior year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Platonic Kleinsen because I can't help myself! 
> 
> Also exciting news (for me) at the end notes!

Jared let the tears roll down his cheeks. His friendship with Evan was still broken, and there was nothing he could do. He thought of Connor, and how Connor's death had made everyone's lives better. Maybe his would do the same...

Jared awoke to the sound of his mother yelling. "Jared Kleinman! Get up, you're going to miss the first day of senior year!" Jared stared at the ceiling. First day of senior year...no, that couldn't be right. They had already done the first day of senior year. After some more yelling from his mom, he decided to just see how the day went.

Evan was at Jared's locker when he arrived. That surprised him. His friendship with Evan was...nonexistent, this couldn't be right. But then he remember, this was the first day of senior year. "E-Evan! You broke your arm. How?" Jared rushed out, desperate to see of Evan was going to tell him the truth after all the previous lying. Evan half-smiled. "W-Well, I was cl-climbing a tree o-over at, um, E-Ellison Park and, u-uh, not to br-brag, but I'm k-kinda of a tree expert n-now," Evan chuckled nervously. Jared noted he was cracking his knuckles and he had shifted his weight to the right. These were things Evan would do whenever he lied during the Connor Project. "A-Anyway, I was climbing a-a forty foot o-oak, and I, um. I-I fell." Evan was now playing with his cast, another lying nervous giveaway. "You fell?" Jared asked, disbelief dripping off of his words. "Y-Yes! I w-was cl-climbing a-and I f-fell!" His stutter was worse. Yet other lying giveaway. Jared rolled his eyes, grabbed Evan's sleeve, and dragged him to an empty bathroom. Once they were in, Jared faced Evan. "How'd you break your arm?"  
"I-I told you, I-"  
"No, Evan."  
"W-Why don't you b-believe me? I f-fell."  
"No, you didn't."  
"J-Jare-" Evan felt tears pricking at his eyes. How did Jared know? "No, you didn't! You fucking let go, didn't you!" Jared yelled, tears already pouring over. Evan's eyes widened just already fraction, but it told Jared all he needed to know. He took a small step toward Evan, his eyes big behind his glasses. "You...you let go?" Jared asked softly, his voice breaking at the end. Evan just buried his head into his hands, sinking to the floor. Jared rushed over and took Evan into his arms. "Evan..."  
"I'msorryitjustseemedlikeagoodideabecauseimeanwhowouldcareimjustevanhansenimnotanybodyspecial." Evan rushed out through sobs. Jared's heart broke in two. "Evan, don't you ever say that. You are just Evan Hansen, and that's all you need to be. You're my best friend, and the best thing that's ever happened to me and your mom," Jared whispered firmly. It took a few minutes, but eventually Evan nodded and calmed down. He rested his hand against Jared's chest, breathing in time with him. "Thanks, Jare." Jared smiled slightly, silently thanking god for giving him a second chance. "No problem, Ev. Love you." There was a small pause before Evan smiled and responded.  
"Love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MIGHT BE GOING TO SEE BE MORE CHILL IN AUGUST AND WILL ROLAND WILL BE PLAYING JEREMY HEERE AND I'LL GET TO SEE MY IDOLS (WILL ROLAND AND GEORGE SALAZAR) IN PERSON AND I SO FUCKING ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MIGHT GET TO GO BUT I MIGHT NOT TO


	12. Update

Man I feel shitty for just posting an update but I do have quite a few things to touch in so maybe I'll post a one shot after this.

Okay! So, I have a few things to say here. Well, first off, I'm going to see my idols in New York City! Yes, I am going to see Be More Chill in September and I am SO excited. I just got back from Las Vegas so I am a bit jet lagged. Also, I have band camp through Friday, so I probably won't post for the rest of this week. After that, I'm working to help fund my trip. Until I have another 2 weeks of band camp in July and school in August. Fucking fun. But long story short, I won't be posting too much in the next few months. And I know I probably update more than other authors, but I have like 10 more of these stored in a folder, so knowing I have shit I want to post and not posting enough makes me feel a tad bit horrible. And finally, my biggest announcement! 

One of said stories stored is kind of an art and soulmate AU. I was going to explain, but I think I'll just post the first chapter. This AU is a Sincerely Three story because I live for it. I think the story will be called something like "Imperfections Imparfaites". It is French for "Imperfect Imperfections", but the meaning I'm going for is "Flawed Imperfections". It's...a song I've been working on. I don't want to go too into detail because it's not fully developed and it's really bad considering it's my first song, but I have put it as a poem as well. After the story is finished, feel free to speculate and tell me who you thought "Flawed Imperfections" fit to best and why. I'll probably post the poem as the last chapter. Also there's going to be no caps for a purpose as well.

Anyway, yeah. Uh, I might not be posting for a while and I'm starting a new Sincerely Three story (my first actual story) called "Imperfections Imparfaites". So...go check that out.

Also can I just thank all of you guys??? Like, 25 people have left Kudos, a few have commented, and over 800 PEOPLE HAVE READ THIS?!?!?!?!?? I mean, it just...I know you probably read a lot of sappy thank you's, but...seriously. thank you guys so much. Edit: I just looked at my stats and seVEN SUBSCRIPTIONS??? THANK YOU SO MUCH?!?!? HOW???? I'VE BEEN FUCKING BLESSED HOLY SHIT THANK YOU


	13. You're All Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HERE'S SOME LAMS ANGST AND FLUFF FOR YOUR SOULS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R.I.P. the Original Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman. We will never forget that you were always supposed to be Will Roland's and no one else's. Rest in spaghet, never forghet 
> 
> Also this is loosely based off of a scene in my favourite book, And I Darken. If you haven't read it you should totally read it

John sighed. Today was the day Alexander would be married to the lovely Elizabeth Schuyler. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the first few tears escape. He  _couldn't_ break down today. He was supposed to be the best man. His mind wandered, and he contemplated whether it would hurt more to attend the wedding or put a bullet through his skull. Before he could fully think it over, the door opened. Johm hurriedly wiped his eyes, afraid it was Alex. Instead, a soft voice with a French accent spoke. "Come on, mon ami. Today is Alexander's wedding." Hearing the words come from one of the two people who knew tore down John's walls. He started to sob as Lafayette pulled him into his arms. "I-I ju-just love him s-so much, and n-now--" John stopped as he was wracked with another wave of grief. The door opened and closed again, and John buried his face in Lafayette's shirt, unable to stop the tears. A hand was placed on his back, and it started to soothingly rub up and down his spine. Hercules. John turned his tearstained face towards him, still crying. "How?" He asked, his voice breaking. "How do I stop the pain?" None of them heard the door open. "John?" Lafayette and Hercules whipped their heads around towards the door, and John turned his face more into Lafayette's shoulder, still uncontrollably sobbing. Alexander stood in the doorway, the colour draining from his face. "Out!" Hercules barked, going over and slamming the door in his face. After a few minutes, John's shaking started to go down. Eventually, it stopped. John pulled his head back and sniffed. Lafayette touched his forehead to John's. "Ça va aller, mon ami," Lafayette whispered. French was always comforting to John. John pulled away after a moment and laughed. "Sorry for ruining your shirt," He said, gesturing to the huge wet spot on Lafayette's shoulder. Lafayette shrugged. "It is just a side effect of being a good friend," He murmured. He winked at John before lifting the shirt up and over his head to expose his chest. Hercules wolf-whistled when Lafayette struck a pose, staring at them with at sultry expression. John laughed, grateful for friends like Lafayette and Hercules. "Go get ready. The wedding is in two hours," John laughed, pushing them out of his room. Hercules blew him a kiss as Lafayette yelled over his shoulder. "Je t'aime, mon ami!"

"You may now kiss the bride." The crowd cheered, but John looked away as Alexander kissed Eliza. It hurt more than the first time he saw them, because this was binding them together for life. It seemed like just a moment had passed before the party had started. Angelica had said her toast, and John needed air. He ran to his room but collapsed in the hallway, unable to stop the tears. It hurt  _so much,_ and he just wanted it to stop. John didn't know how long he sat there for until Alexander showed up. "John?" Alex asked, reaching down. His fingertips brushed John's shirt and he twisted away like Alexander had burned him. He stood and wiped his eyes. "Go back to the party, Alex. Spend time with your...your wife." John wasn't looking at him. "Why were you crying?" Alexander asked. John shook his head and pressed his lips together. "I'm only going to ask one more time. Why were you crying, John." Still, John wouldn't answer. He didn't trust his voice. Alexander angrily slapped the wall behind John. "Why, J-" He was cut of by John screaming. " _Because I love you, Alexander!_ " John's arms wrapped around himself as he started to cry. "I love you," He whispered, his voice breaking at the end. Alex stepped back in surprise that was quickly taken over by happiness, a sense of hysteria, and anger. "Why didn't you tell me before I got married, John Laurens!" Alexander yelled, pulling John into the nearest bedroom that happened to be Alex's. John's pain was doubled when anger was added into the mix. "Because it's wrong! Because I knew you'd shut me out! Because I can't afford to lose you--" John's breathing started to pick up as his hands tore at his hair. "Because you wouldn't accept it because I'd never be good enough because you love  _her_!" John yelled back. Shaking with anger, Alex yelled back. " _No,_ John! I don't give a shit if it's wrong!  _I fucking love you!_ " All of the anger drained out of the room, only leaving John's suffocating pain and Alexander's exhausted tension. John started to shake his head. "Stop lying to me." Alexander shook his head. "I'm not ly-" He easy interrupted yet again. "Stop lying to me!" John half-yelled. He was about to escalate when Alexander caught his words with his lips. John was in too much pain, he was too desperate to push Alexander away. He groaned into Alex's mouth, deepening the kiss. Alexander willingly complied, his hands gripping John's hips. John wrapped his arms around Alexander and pulled him closer. John lightly bit and tugged on Alex's lower lip, drawing a moan out of the other man. They continued, the kiss getting more and more rushed as clothes were taken off and thrown onto the floor. John hungrily nipped at Alexander's bottom lip, tugging on Alex's hair, his head too foggy to properly think. John pushed Alexander onto the bed and kissed his neck, sucking dark marks onto Alexander, marking him as his. Alexander moaned as John came back up to kiss him. Alexander started to tug at John's waistband, and suddenly John's head cleared. He pushed himself off of Alex, quickly dressing himself in a rush. "John.." Alexander whined. John glanced over at Alex on the bed. He was almost completely undressed, his face flushed, lips red and bruised, hair disheveled, his problem very obvious underneath what little clothing he was wearing. John shook his head as he finished dressing himself. "No. No, I'm sorry, I can't do this with someone who doesn't feel the same," John explained, looking anywhere but Alex. "I said I love you and I mean it," Alex protested. John met his eyes, his face contorted into a mask of raw pain. "You're married," John stated. Alexander got up, his eyes hard and determined. He dressed himself, placed a chaste kiss on John's lips, and marched out of the door to find Eliza. "Alex! Where are you going?  _Alex!_ " By the time John had caught up to Alexander, he was already talking to Eliza. She was nodding as he talked. She smiled at him and laughed. His shoulders sagged in relief. He took of his ring and handed it to her before enveloping her in a hug. After a moment, Alexander let go and came over to John. "She understood and she said she was waiting for me to realize it," Alex said, blushing. "Y-You..." John trailed off, words failing him. "Am all yours," Alexander finished, grinning. "Marry me." John asked, pushing a lock of hair out of Alexander's face. "Of course!" Alexander exclaimed, jumping onto John and wrapping his legs around John's waist. John held Alex close to him, pressing his lips to Alex's. Being this close to Alex reminded John of a certain situation of Alex's that he had to take care of. "Should I take care of that?" John whispered. "Oh, _god_ , yes," Alexander moaned. They retreated to John's bedroom to do what every married couple does on the night of their wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who got my DEH reference? Also fuck my curiosity I was istening to More Than Survive and "OH I'm listening to Marley and the groove is hella gnarly" so I'm like okay I wanna see if Marley is good and I've listened to a song and I'm fucking hooked goddammit  
> Listen to Jamming by Bob Marley it's really fuckin good


	14. Klance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Klance canon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuuuckkkkk I wasn't gonna write because I'm fucking tired but I promised my friend I would write Klance into existence so here you go bonch

Keith was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. He had just joined back up with the team, and Lance was already on his ass. He just wanted to sleep forever. Or die; even better. He had been training all day, and Lance came in around noon to make things much worse. "Come on buddy, you can do better than that! Or have the Mamora softened you up?" Lance taunted. Keith growled and stabbed the machine, done with Lance. Sure, Lance is one of the only things on his mind, and sure, he's fantazied about holding Lance's hand, cuddling with Lance at night, kissing Lance--but that doesn't matter. He loves being around Lance...except when Lance is like this. "Fuck--shut  _up_ , Lance!" Keith yelled as he whirled around and sliced the midsection of another mechanical enemy. Lance chuckled. "What are you gonna do?  _Make_ me?" Keith tightened his grip on his sword, paused the fight, and marched towards Lance. Lance's eyes widened, an endless sea of blue staring at Keith. "Woah, Keith, buddy, I-I was just--p-please don't stab m-me." Keith felt his heart start to give in. He loved it when Lance stuttered; his eyebrows furrowed just a little bit and his cheeks flushed and Keith found it to be one of the most adorable things in the world. "Yes, I am going to make you," Keith hissed. He threw down his sword and before he could think more clearly, he pressed his lips to Lance's.

Lance's brain short-circuited. Keith was...kissing him? Keith. The moody, edgy, utterly adorable boy that Lance had pined after ever since Keith had rescued him. Was kissing him. Lance. Lance, who was annoying, who was too loud, too overconfident, who talked to much, who had awful nervous habits and who obsessed over certain things. Keith pulled back after what seemed like an eternity even though it was barely a second. The stamp of hurt was clearly marked in his indigo eyes. Keith turned away, his back facing Lance as his shoulders slumped in defeat. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." His voice cracked at the end, and it was evident to Lance that Keith was fighting back tears. Lance felt as if he was frozen. He couldn't move his limbs; he was stuck. Keith started to move away, and Lance's spell was broken. He rushed forwards and grabbed Keith's wrist, turning him towards Lance. "Keith, do you..." Lance trailed off breathlessly. His heart ached when Lance met his eyes and Lance saw the tears gathering in his eyes. "Like you?  _Fuck_ , yes, I do. I love your hair and your smile and your laugh and your positive mindset and how you try to motivate everyone and how you're so determined and--" Keith broke off, a pained chuckle ripped out of him. He wrenched his hand out of Lance's. "But what the fuck does it matter? You  _clearly_ don't feel the same." Keith turned away again. Lance grabbed his face and smashed his lips onto Keith's. He pulled away after a second or two. Lance wrapped his arms around himself and started to drag his nails across his left arm, a nervous habit of his. "I do. I do feel the same way." Lance muttered, trying to fight back nervous tears. "I love how you're so moody but then you're so sweet and your stupid mullet and your fucking fighting style and--God, that's pathetic. I'm so head over heels for you that I like your  _fighting style."_ Lance shook his head before continuing, his nails leaving red marks on his arm. "I like your smile and I think you should do it more often because it's fucking adorable and I like the way you try to distance yourself but are gravitated to the team." Lance couldn't stop the tears now. They slowly fell down his cheeks as he looked upwards so Keith wouldn't see his full expression. "And you kissed me and it's everything I imagined and more, but I can't fathom it, I can't understand how someone like you could like someone like me, I'm annoying and I talk too much and I'm overconfident and I've got these  _stupid_ nervous tics and--" Lance was interrupted by Keith hugging him. "No," Keith muttered, grabbing handfuls of Lance's shirt. "No. They're not stupid. It makes you human and I like that. You do talk a little too much but I love to hear your voice so I couldn't care less if you talked until I died; I love it all." Lance couldn't help himself; he wrapped his hands in Keith's mullet, leaned down, and kissed him. Keith kissed him back with a passion, wrapping his hands around Lance's neck and standing on his toes. They pulled away and rested their foreheads against each other, breathing heavily. "Hey Keith?" There was a pause. "Do you want to be my boyfriend?" Keith sucked in a breath before sharply exhaling. "I literally thought you'd never ask." He pressed his lips to Lance's again, both of them smiling into the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S6 comes out tomorrow, band camp is slowly killing my arms, I wanna fuckin die lol
> 
> Also sorry for the like minor suicidal-joking-but-not-really thing at the beginning I'm just pushing myself onto Keith so yeet


	15. The String pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The String and Kleinsen, part 2! Also if you haven't read The String part 1 (chapter 9?) then you need to do that or else you'll be confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I wouldn't post much but them I realized: Hey I have a bit of free time and I definitely won't be able to post as much during school, sooooo....
> 
> Now you have content

Jared fell asleep holding Heidi's hand. He would never admit it, but he missed his mother. He missed her soothing voice, her soft eyes, her hugs, everything. When he woke up, he snapped his eyes open, expecting to see his mom. She wasn't there. Jared felt his chest deflate as he looked at the clock. 5:07 p.m. He needed something to take his mind off of Evan and his mom, so he switched on the TV. But it didn't help.

Evan. Why did Evan run?

_It was clear why he ran, he doesn't you like you, dumbass._

But why?

_Because you're an asshole. 'Just family friends.' Hell, you wouldn't even sign his cast then got jealous when Connor Murphy showed more kindness and compassion than you did._

Why did I do that?

His mind was silent for that question.

 

After a few hours of mindlessly watching TV, his mother came rushing in. "Jared!" She exclaimed tearily, enveloping him in a hug. He hugged her tightly, burying his face in her shoulder. After a few minutes, she pulled away. She held on to his hand as she sat next to him. "So...Heidi told me what happened." He looked away in shame. "Why did you do that, Jared?" She asked gently, wiping away the tear that had fallen onto his cheek. Jared started to cry harder. "It j-just hurt so m-much, Mom..." Her baby, the child she had raised from an infant who grew to be such a great young man... She furrowed her eyebrows a bit. "Your leg?" He could feel her start to get a bit angry. He rapidly shook his head and her anger subsided. "My String appeared, Mom. A-and then Evan rushed in the room, and he was s-so happy because his appeared too and then we-we saw ours were co-connected a-and-" Jared choked back a sob. "And I've liked him f-for _so long_ only to find out he's my soulmate-" Jared's breathing started to pick up. "And he just went p-pale and then he just r-ran, he ran and away from me...a-and it hurt so much, my chest was on fire, my head was po-pounding, and I just needed it to st-stop, I just needed the pain to run away and for Evan to c-come back.." Jared dissolved into sobs. "Oh, honey," His mother whispered. She held him as he cried. Eventually, he calmed down. She squeezed his hand and kissed his forehead before getting up. "W-Where are you going?" He asked, panic lacing his words. She looked at him, holding on to the doorframe. "To go see Evan. I love you, schatzi," She told him before walking out. He felt panic start to expand in his chest and he turned his attention to the TV before slowly falling asleep.

Evan hadn't eaten, he hadn't slept, he hadn't even showered since the Jared Incident. Instead, he was listening to music on his laptop, staring at the ceiling. Then a knock sounded, and Evan nearly jumped out of his skin. _Oh no._ His mom would've walked in, so the only person this could be is Jared. Evan slowly got up and walked towards the door. His hand lingered on the doorknob before he took a deep breath and opened it. It was Jared's mom. _Way worse,_ Evan thought. "H-Hi, Mrs. Kleinman," Evan said politely. "Hello, Evan. May I come in?" She asked. Evan nodded and opened the door wider so she could come in. She strode to the couch and sat down, looking at him expectantly. He stumbled over and sat down, immeidtaley overwhelmed with a myriad of emotions, concern being the most present. "What's wrong? Has something bad happened? Is Jared okay?" He rushed out. Mrs. Kleinman raised a hand to stop him, and his mouth snapped shut. "A lot of things are wrong-" Evan felt panic start to arise in his chest. "Something bad has happened-" Evans breathing started to pick up. "And Jared isn't fine." Evan stood up, his hands tearing at his hair. "What's wrong? What can I do to help?" He asked desperately, looking at her with wide eyes. She stared back up at him with barely concealed exasperation. "You can go back there and talk to him." Suddenly it all clicked. Nothing bad had happened to Jared except for what he did. "After you left...Jared tried to kill himself." Evan's eyes widened and he stared at her. "H-He tr-tried to..." Evan felt the tears well up in his eyes and spill over faster than they ever had. "It's all my fault!" He cried, collapsing to the floor, his shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs. Jared. The Jared who had comforted Evan whenever Zoe found her soulmate, who had calmed Evan down during his panic attacks, who had snuck out of his house and gone to Evan's at ungodly hours because Evan was freaked out or just lonely. His Jared had tried to... Evan stumbled up and started running around, gathering objects. "Evan, what are you doing?" She asked. In his rush, he answered in Spanish. "¡Tengo que ir a ver a Jared!" He shoved his feet into his shoes, shrugged on his jacket, and started towards the door. "Evan!" Mrs. Kleinman exclaimed, grabbing Evan's arm. She grabbed at words until finally settling on: "Let me drive you." Evan looked at her with wide eyes before nodding. They got in the car and started driving. "What are you going to say?" She asked, turning to look at him as she stopped at a red light. He stared ahead with determination. "That I want to try."

Evan smiled when he saw Jared. Glasses crooked on his nose, his eyes closed, his mouth forming a small "o". His lashes cast a shadow on his cheeks. Evan walked over, took his glasses off, and placed them on the bedside table. "Evan, when ewas they last time you ate?" Mrs. Kleinman asked. "Uh..." She smiled and shook her head. "I'm going to get food," She said. He smiled at her gratefully before turning his attention to Jared. Jared had turned towards him and slightly smiling. Evan wondered if he knew Evan was here. Evan brushed a piece of hair out of Jared's face, and his eyes snapped open. "Heidi?" Jared mumbled. "Evan," He whispered. Jared's eyes widened before he fumbled for his glasses, sliding them on. His eyes adjusted and sure enough, it was Evan. Jared moved away and look at the ceiling away from Evan. "What do you want." He asked, hurt dripping from his words. He clearly didn't want an answer. "T-To talk," Evan said. "You didn't want to talk when you first said the String. No, you _ran._ Like a _coward._ Do you know how much that hurt, Evan? It felt like an elephant was standing on my head and someone had lit my chest on fire. And you know what? It _sucked,_ " Jared spat, looking at Evan. His face was contorted into a look of pure, raw pain. Evan flinched upon seeing how hurt Jared truly was. "Jared, why were you crying earlier on the hill?" He asked. Jared stared at him before thinking that he might as well tell Evan. _All cards on the table._ "Because. It's our senior year and I've liked you ever since I sprained my ankle in the 8th grade," Jared said plainly. Evan reeled back, shock etched onto his face. "You..."

"Yes, Evan. I love you." Jared was surprised to hear the words "love" come out of his mouth, but he couldn't deny it was how he felt. "Jared..."

"No, Evan. I don't want your pity."

"If you would listen to me, I wasn't going to pity you. I was going to apologize and say that I wanted to try." Jared stared at Evan, taking in the other boy's face. He was looking to the left, his freckled cheeks dusted with red and his hand scratching at his cast. "You're...you're serious," Jared said in disbelief. Evan nodded. Jared tugged on his String and pulled Evan's hand close to his. He slowly intertwined their fingers before looking up at Evan. "Is this okay?" Jared asked nervously. Evan nodded before quickly leaning forwards and pressing his lips to Jared's cheek, his face burning red. Once Evan pulled away, he looked at Jared. Jared's face was bright red, and he looked stunned. "Was that..."

"That was _absolutely_  okay," Jared giggled. The two boys sat and held hands until they fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeet


	16. The String pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eight years later...

"Jared, we're out of bread!" Evan called. Jared poked his head around the corner. "I bought bread last week!" He exclaimed, exasperated. "Yes, but I had to make casserole when your family came over and we both you know you love sandwiches when you decide to stay up late," Evan explained. "Evan, I'm up to my elbows in paint. I cannot go get bread at this moment," Jared deadpanned, continuing to paint. "I still don't understand why you think we should paint the apartment. We're going to have to repaint it when we leave anyway," Evan said, closing the door to the fridge and pouring himself a glass of milk. "Because! We're not leaving for probably a few years or until we can afford a good house and I am not living here with bright yellow walls!" Jared said semi-angrily. Jared was painting the walls a light grey, something that would actually go with their furniture. Evan laughed as he walked over to Jared. Jared turned his head and Evan planted a kiss on his lips. "Okay, amor. Whatever you want," Evan crooned. Jared looked at him with loving eyes before glancing at his watch. "It's almost 1. Want to go to lunch?" He asked, wiping the paint from his hands even though there wasn't that much. Evan fake-gasped. "Jared Kleinman, are you asking me out on a date?" Jared smirked and dipped Evan. "Only if you want to," He purred, kissing Evan. Evan laughed and wrapped his arms around Jared's neck. "Of course! I would never deny spending time with my favourite boyfriend," Evan flirted, kissing Jared back. Jared lifted Evan back up, looking hurt. He stepped away from Evan, tears welling up in his eyes. "Favourite...boyfriend? There are others?" Tears started to spill over on his cheeks. Evan quickly backtracked. "Nononono that's not what I meant!! I--uh--" Jared had started to laugh, wiping the tears away. He doubled over, clutching his stomach as he looked at the dumbfounded look on Evan's face. "Jared, you--come back here!" Evan yelled, chasing after Jared as he ran into their bedroom. Jared caught Evan in his arms and laid him down on the bed, kissing him over and over. "Jared, you suck," Evan said between kisses. His arms came to wrap around Jared and pull him closer. Jared leaned his forehead against Evan's, his eyes closed. "Marry me," He said before kissing Evan again. "Wait what?" Evan exclaimed, his eyes wide. Jared looked at Evan, staring into the crystal blue eyes below him. "Heirate mich. Marry me?" Jared asked, nervously biting his bottom lip. Evan sucked in a sharp breath. "Of course!" He giggled. Jared's face lit up and he attacked Evan with even more kisses. "I love you I love you I love I love you," Jared said in between kisses, smiling uncontrollably. "I love you too," Evan breathed out, giddy. "So I am I Evan Kleinman now?" Evan asked, smiling up at Jared. "Unless you want me to be Jared Hansen, yeah," Jared mumbled. Jared kissed Evan's nose, making Evan giggle again. "I think Evan Kleinman sounds better," He whispered, kissing Jared. "Evan, I have to shower so we can go to lunch," Jared whined, not really struggling to get out of Evan's affection. "I'll only let you go if I can join," Evan requested. Jared smirked. "Then let's go," He said, winking. "I love you, Jared Kleinman."  
"I love you too, Evan K-Kleinman."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed my Kleinsen String AU! I'll probably post again later today or tomorrow or somethin


	17. Pronouns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared is a confused boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vent where I am Jared *all star earrape*

Jared Kleinman knew what he was. He was a male. He never had a problem with that. Until high school rolled around. Everything was fine, and then came the last week of June. Jared didn't know why it was specifically now, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that he was confused. He had finally reached his breaking point. He had had enough of the awkward boners, the male sterotypes, and everything else. He was sick of thinking he was supposed to be a bodybuilder with perfect hair and perfect teeth and handsome everything--but that wasn't true. No, instead, Jared had to deal with himself. He had to deal with the bad eyesight, the gaps in his teeth, the stretch marks, the muffin top, and everything else, even down to the smallest things. Like his hands. Jared hated how his nails were shaped differently and were sweaty. But not like always sweaty--no, instead, it was only when he was nervous. His hands didn't even sweat when it was hot outside! Only when he when he was nervous. He was sick of looking at himself and thinking that he wasn't right, that he was different and odd and overall unattractive. He had often looked at the girls and longed to be like them. They had freedoms he didn't, but he had freedoms they didn't. He didn't have to be catcalled on the streets by pervs too often like them. But certain things they did were considered acceptable for them and not him, and that made him jealous. But he knew he wasn't a girl. Sure, he had felt pretty when he had put on a skirt and makeup for the day. And sure, he had liked the stares he got from Evan. But still! Genderfluid? He didn't know. He didn't know if he was mentally prepared or mentally decent with being called a female. It was too much for him to think about at the moment. Non-binary? The thought hit him like how Connor's mood swings hit Connor. There were no sterotypes in being non-binary. There were no rules or obligations. Jared felt his mind blank out. Would that be right? Would he feel better and more like himself? Theirself? Jared didn't know. He guessed...maybe it would be better. He felt tears well up in his eyes. He didn't KNOW, and that made everything so much worse because he didn't know what to do, what to think...he quickly rubbed the tears away. Maybe he would feel better...trying it. But how? His parents wouldn't accept calling their child anything other than a boy. It would be difficult to explain to Evan or Zoe or Connor. Alana. Maybe she would be okay with it. But then again...maybe she would think he was again freak and faking or whatever. Rationally, he knew it wasn't possible. Zoe was genderfluid. Alana's girlfriend had her female and non-binary days. Jared didn't know if he could force himself to do it. He would sleep on it. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. He closed his eyes and let his mind lull itself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help me please???? I'm honestly so confused and I dunno what to do??? Also I'm like low key really uneducated because I don't know where to look exactly so???
> 
> Edit: JESUS FUCK I MISSED 666 HITS WELL GUESS WE'RE STILL CELEBRATING BY ME POSTING A CRACK FIC OF 3 OF MY STRAIGHT FRIENDS TOGETHER IN A GAY RELATIONSHIP THE STORY IS CALLED TARTNESS YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT LATER WHEN I ACTUALLY DECIDE TO POST IT


	18. I'm Not A Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trans Connor
> 
> TW!: Maybe? It's basically Connor breaking down about his gender? It's angst the fluff so yeet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not ask what gave me this idea because I have no fucking clue
> 
> Also Zoe is supportive of Connor and they have a good relationship

Connor nervously re-adjusted his binder. He knew did didn't have much of a chest anyway, but he felt more comfortable with it on. He looked at his face. He didn't see any masculine features. He only saw his eyes. Why were they so almond shaped? That made him look like a female! He felt tears prick at his eyes and he hastily rubbed them away.

"I'm not a girl," He whispered. He slipped on his shirt and jacket before heading downstairs. "Honey, would you like some eggs?" Cynthia asked. He nodded and sat down at the table as she spooned some onto his plate. Eggs were the one food his mother couldn't fuck up, so Connor devoured them whenever she made them.

He heard Zoe clomp down the stairs before she threw herself into the chair behind him. "Hey Connor," She yawned. Connor internally smiled a bit at his name. "Hey Zoe," He said, poking her in her side. She squeaked and pushed his hand away.

Across the table, Larry set his coffee mug down. "Connie, please don't touch your sister. Girls don't do that," He stated, picking his cup up. Zoe gasped and opened her mouth to speak, but Connor beat her to it. He looked at his father angrily through tears. "My name is Connor! I'm not a girl!" He yelled, hastily wiping away tears that threatened to fall. Larry looked at him over his newspaper, shaking his head. "Boys don't cry," He told Connor. Connor stood up, shaking. Cynthia stood to the side, too stunned to say anything. "He does because he's a human being!" Zoe yelled at Larry. She stood and grabbed her bag. "Connor, get your bag. We're leaving," She muttered, grabbing her keys. She turned and glared at Larry. "I am taking my BROTHER to school because I am a good younger sister to my older BROTHER, CONNOR MURPHY!" Zoe yelled, putting an emphasis on Connor's name and brother.

She slammed the door behind her, breathing heavily with anger. Connor sat in the passenger seat, shaking. The moment Zoe opened the driver's door, he started sobbing. He put his head in his hands and cried. Zoe rubbed his back soothingly. "Z-Zoe," He hiccupped. "I-I'm a g-g-girl, aren't I?" He whispered between sobs. Saying it out loud made him cry harder. Without missing a beat, Zoe spoke. "Connor, look at me." And he did. It broke Zoe's heart, seeing her older brother break down in the car, his eyes large as tears continued to spill over. His bottom lip was trembling with the effort of not letting out a huge sob. It seemed to Connor that she was at a loss for words a moment before she spoke.

"No. No, you're not. I'm the daughter. You're the son and my older brother. And honestly? You're the coolest and best older brother anyone could ask for," She told him. He let out a sob before hugging her. She hugged him back, starting to rub her hand along his back again. "T-Thank yo-you," He cried into her shoulder. "Anything for my brother," She whispered.

A few minutes passed, and Connor eventually calmed down. "Wanna stop at McDonald's for ice cream before school?" She said, smiling devilishly. He laughed and nodded. She started the car and hooked up her AUX. "In the mood to rap?" She asked. Connor smiled. "Always." Eventually, she chose Washington on Your Side. Connor always had Jefferson's part, whereas Zoe did Madison's.

A couple of minutes pass, and then Zoe is spewing out lyrics like she was on the stage. Connor grinned as he took a deep breath. And then he was off. Connor was rapping like it was his last time ever, and he was making it count. He didn't realize it, but Zoe had pulled up into the McDonald's drive thru and had rolled the window down just as Connor started. After he was finished with Jefferson's rap, Zoe paused it. She waiting a bit before they heard clapping from the comm. "That was really good!" The girl inside praised. Connor blushed. "T-Thanks," He said. Zoe ordered their ice creams and then pulled around to pay and get their cones. "One for the madam, and another for the handsome rap god," The girl said, winking at Connor.

As Zoe handed the cone to Connor, she suddenly got a devious idea. "Wow! I'm sure your boyfriend would love to hear you rap!" She exclaimed. Connor flushed a dark red. The girl's smile faltered. She hadn't know he was gay. "H-Have a nice day," She said before they drove away. "Z-Zoe! What was that about?!" He asked frantically. "She clearly liked you after that rap! I thought I was going to crush any chance she thought she had, and I did," Zoe cackled.

Eventually, they pulled up into the school parking lot. As they ate their cones, people started filing into the school. They got out and started ealing towards the school. "Love you, Zo," Connor mumbled. She looked back at him and smiled, pleasantly surprised. "Love you too, Connor," She said, putting the slightest emphasis on his name. It brought a smile to his face as he entered his homeroom, and he knew nothing was going to ruin his day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm *clap* still *clap* confused!
> 
> Seriously, if anyone has a Tumblr and advice from my troubles in the last chapter, please message me. My tumblr is theuncertainauthor and if you can help please try


	19. You're My World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boyf Riends fluff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boyf Riends Fluff because they deserve it and because it's the last day of pride month and it's low key upsetting

Jeremy slipped Michael's hoodie on before padding to the kitchen. "Jer! That's my hoodie!" Michael jokingly complained. "I can take it off," Jeremy said, moving to take it off. "No!" Michael exclaimed. Jeremy looked at him with a question in his eyes. "I like it on you," Michael said simply, not meeting Jeremy's eyes. "Aww, Michael, that's so cute!" Jeremy cooed, tucking his hands into the sleeves. Michael blushed. "I'm not cute! I'm an asshole," He grumbled, opening the fridge. "Absolutely adorable," Jeremy said, grinning.

Without a word, Michael loaded all of the snacks onto Jeremy. "Wha-Michael! I am not carrying all of this while you carry nothing!" Jeremy said, irritated. "I won't be carrying nothing. I will be carrying my everything," Michael said. He walked over and scooped Jeremy's up, carrying him bridal style. "M-Michael!" Jeremy squeaked as Michael started to walk down to the basement. "See? I'm carrying my everything," Michael repeated. Jeremy blushed and looked away.

Michael gently sat Jeremy down on his bean bag before taking the snacks and putting them onto the coffee table. He plopped down onto his bean bag, relaxing into the red fabric. Jeremy crawled off of his bean bag and launched himself onto Michael, knocking the breath out of the other boy. "Ibig!" Michael protested once he got his breath back.

The other boy didn't respond; instead, he chose to snuggle himself deeper into Michael and his hoodie. Michael chuckled as his arms came to wrap around Jeremy. "I love you," He mumbled into Jeremy's hair. "Love you too, dork."

"Nerd."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys had a great pride month!


	20. The Goodbye Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by George Salazar and Joe Iconis's "The Goodbye Song".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW!: Suicide and angst and hurt and tears and I'm fucking upse
> 
> Also Michael is speaking/singing what the note reads which are the lyrics to the song.

Jeremy knocked on Michael's door. He was holding sushi and a slushie in his hand, eagerly awaiting his boyfriend to open the door.

Nothing happened.

So after trying again and getting the same response, Jeremy decided to open the door himself. It was unlocked. He shouted out a greeting and rushed down to the basement.

It was empty. As Jeremy put the snacks down, his stomach knotted with dread. He yelled for Michael, getting no response.

He ran upstairs to Michael's bedroom and opened the door to find the boy lying on his side. Jeremy was filled with overwhelming relief.

He went over to Michael and tried to shake him awake. And then his eyes landed on the empty pill bottles scattered across the bed. His eyes filled with tears and he screamed.

His shaking hands picking up the note laid on the pillow where Jeremy used to rest next to Michael.

 

* * *

 

 

Michael came around the corner right after Jeremy. He reached out to pull Jeremy away, he didn't want Jeremy to see that, but his hands went right through his boyfriend's shoulders. He flinched when Jeremy screamed and sobbed, picking up the note.

"The time has come," Michael sang softly. "I'm flying away." It hurt to see his love break down. "Mouth is numb. Heart don't know what to say."

"And although I'll be out of sight, dear, know I'll be right here. Right here, forever, ever, ever, ever," Michael whispered, his voice cracking. He took a shaky breath and looked out of the window.

"And when you look to the night skies, don't think of goodbyes. Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever." Jeremy had collapsed to the floor, clutching the note and sobbing. His body was shaking.

"Thank you for teaching me lessons," Michael said. He chuckled softly. "Thank you for listening to mine. Man, you know how to ride a bike now. Don't be scared, you'll be fine."

Michael knelt down in front of Jeremy and cupped his face, knowing Jeremy wouldn't know he was here.

"And although I'll be out of sight, dear, know I'll be right here. Right here forever, ever, ever, ever. And when you look to the night skies, don't think of goodbyes. Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever."

He saw the thought flash through Jeremy's mind and stood.

"Come! No, you can't come with me. Stay! I wish I could goodbye. I know it's hard to say. Come! No, you can't come with me. Stay! I wish I could goodbye. I know it's hard to say. Ouch, I know it hurts to stay! I-"

He crouched in front of Jeremy again, tears sliding down his cheeks.

"I'd stay if I could, but the universe won't let me. So please, be good. And don't you forget me," Michael requested, shaking his head and chuckling a bit at the last part. He sighed.

"And although, I'll be out of sight, dear, know I'll be right here. Right here forever, ever, ever, ever. And when you look to the night skies, don't think of goodbyes. Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever."

He let out a quiet sob. He looked into the beautiful blue eyes that were shining with tears, and he leaned his forehead onto to Jeremy's. Jeremy leaned forward the tiniest bit, as if he could feel Michael. Michael could feel the love and the agony and the sadness radiating off of Jeremy as his love sat in front of him, his body wracked with sobs as he clutched his boyfriend's lifeless hand.

"And although I'll be out of sight, dear, know I'll be right here. Right here forever, ever, ever, ever. And when you look to the night skies, don't think of goodbyes. Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go listen to this song! And also I'm making this it's own thing so if you liked this go give kudos to THAT and comment on THAT not this


	21. Josephine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Text fic!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not enough Trans Jared so I wrote Trans Jared. Also expect to see more Trans Connor/Michael/Jared

_**JKI'mKidding**_ added _**Murphy**_ , _**Murphy2.0**_ , _**RolanInThisHouse**_ , _**LhostInYourEyes**_ , _**BeMyValentine**_ , _**Mellon**_ , _**Christiiiiine**_ , _**BeckBeck**_ , _**I'mHeere**_ , _**Evangreen**_ , _**TotallyBiNow**_ , and _**JakeyD**_ to a group chat.

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ named the chat _**i have Something to say**_.

 _ **Mellon**_ : oh no he used the capital S

 _ **Christiiiiine**_ : Jared, are you okay?

 _ **Evangreen**_ : What do you need to say?

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : so tbh I didn't want to do this in text but anxiety blows

 _ **Mellon**_ : ain't that the truth

 _ **LhostInYourEyes**_ : Let him talk

 _ **BeMyValentine**_ : Go ahead, J

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : So, I have recently discovered something about myself

 _ **Murphy**_ : No one wants to hear about your kinks Kleinman

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : dude I'm actually trying to say something serious can you not fuck it up please

 _ **BeckBeck**_ : Breathe

 _ **Murphy2.0**_ : Connor you better be ready to die

 _ **Murphy**_ : Ho I've been ready

 _ **Christiiiiine**_ : You two be quiet. Jared, what is it?

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : I'm a girl.

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : I mean, physically I'm a boy, but mentally, I'm a girl. I've decided to do mtf.

 _ **LhostInYourEyes**_ : What's your name?

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : Josephine.

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.

 _ **TotallyBiNow**_ : Nononono, Josephine come back 

 _ **JakeyD**_ : Don't leave please

 _ **Christiiiiine**_ : Josephine please don't go

 _ **Murphy2.0**_ : CONNOR THIS WAS YOUR FAULT

 _ **I'mHeere**_ : I don't think it was particularly Connor's fault....

 _ **Mellon**_ : idk I kinda agree with Zoe. bUT JOSEPHINE WE WHOLE HEARTEDLY SUPPORT YOU

Private chat with _**BeckBeck**_ , _**Evangreen**_ , and  _ **JKI'mKidding**_

 _ **BeckBeck**_ : Josephine, are you okay?

 _ **Evangreen**_ : I just ran over to her house

 _ **Evangreen**_ : She's fine, just a little overwhelmed. Can you tell the rest of the group that?

 _ **BeckBeck**_ : of course

 _ **TotallyBiNow**_ renamed _**i have Something to say**_ to _**Josephine Support Group**_

 _ **BeckBeck**_ : She's fine, just a little overwhelmed with support from us

 _ **Mellon**_ : Understandable, have a great day

 _ **I'mHeere**_ : Michael stop this is serious

 _ **RolanInThisHouse**_ : UnDeRsTaNdAbLe, HaVe A gReAt DaY 

 _ **JakeyD**_ : You're almost as bad as Connor

 _ **Murphy**_ : I heard you were talking shit about me.

 _ **LhostInYourEyes**_ : I love myself

 _ **TotallyBiNow**_ : Even though I look like a burnt chicken nugget

 _ **Murphy2.0**_ : I still love myself

 _ **BeMyValentine**_ : JUST LIKE WE LOVE AND SUPPORT JOSEPHINE

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : thabk yoy so mucj 

 _ **Christiiiiine**_ : Josephine are you crying?

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : maybw 

 _ **Evangreen**_ : Yes

 _ **Mellon**_ : Snitches get stitches Evan

 _ **Evangreen**_ : I have a cast instead, guess you'll have to deal

 _ **I'mHeere**_ : OOOOOHHH

 _ **TotallyBiNow**_ : MICHAEL GOT BURNED

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : lmao

 _ **BeckBeck**_ : seriously, Josephine, we love and support you completely

 _ **Christiiiiine**_ : Love you honey

 _ **JakeyD**_ : Love ya, homeslice 

 _ **TotallyBiNow**_ : Love you fam 

 _ **Mellon**_ : I LOVE YOU

 _ **LhostInYourEyes**_ : Love you Josephine

 _ **RolanInThisHouse**_ : LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU

 _ **I'mHeere**_ : Love you 

 _ **BeMyValentine**_ : Sweetie, I love you

 _ **Murphy**_ : Je t'aime.

 _ **Murphy2.0**_ : He says he loves you and I do too

 _ **Evangreen**_ : Love you

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : Honestly thank you guys so much for the support I love you all

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : You're all the greatests 

 _ **Christiiiiine**_ : Of course we are, we're your friend after all

 _ **TotallyBiNow**_ : Only the best for our sweet Josephine

 _ **Mellon**_ : Always the best for our sweet Josephine

 _ **JKI'mKidding**_ : stop I'm gonna cry again

 _ **LhostInYourEyes**_ : r.i.p.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually the second time I've written this and I wanna die


	22. Friday the 13th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Jeremy spend Friday the the 13th together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Low key angst and fluff

Michael bounded down the stairs, holding snacks and a huge grin on his face. "Time to watch movies!" Michael sang, plopping down next to his boyfriend. Jeremy smiled at Michael, a little confused. "Why are you so excited about this?" Jeremy asked, gabbing Michael's hand. Michael shrugged. "No reason."

Little did Jeremy know, but Michael had plenty of ways to scare Jeremy. Jeremy was an avid believer in old wives' tales, even if he wouldn't admit it. Michael was going to use that to his advantage and save the biggest scare for last.

Michael was about to start the movie when he gasped. "Shit, Jer! I forgot!" He yelled, springing up and racing to the closet. "What? Micha, what's wrong?" He asked. "I need to change the sheets for our bed tonight," Michael said, carrying sheets to his and Jeremy's bedroom. Jeremy gulped, his hands starting to sweat a little. He didn't want to have bad dreams, but he'd have Michael, so it'd be okay. He slowly got up to help Michael.

Once Michael was satisfied with the new sheets, he smiled at Jeremy. "Alright, now we can watch the movie," He chirped. He grabbed Jeremy, but instead, accidentally pushed him into the mirror next to Michael's closet. Jeremy's knee crashed into the mirror and broke it. "Oh my god, Jer, are you okay?" Michael asked, running around to scoop up his boyfriend. The glass hadn't even broken Jeremy's skin. Jeremy whimpered as he looked at the broken mirror.

He buried his face into Michael's shoulder, whimpering. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," Michael said, genuinely concerned. "It's okay," Jeremy whispered. "Let's go watch some movies and eat some popcorn, okay?" Michael said. Jeremy nodded and Michael picked him up bridal style, smiling when Jeremy squealed. He set Jeremy on the couch and handed him a bowl of popcorn, smiling to himself when Jeremy reached for the salt. Michael had purposely unscrewed the lid so that when Jeremy picked it up, the salt shaker had slipped out of his grip and spilled salt on the table. Jeremy resisted the urge to throw salt over his shoulder. Tonight was not going good. He snuggled into Michael's shoulder, feeling safer.

A few hours later, and Jeremy was terrified. They had just watched IT, and Michael had gone to the bathroom when his phone lit up with a call from "Baby Boy". Jeremy's stomach sunk as he picked it up. He didn't even have to say anything before a sultry voice filtered through the phone. "Hey sweet stuff." It was Rich. Jeremy couldn't take it anymore. He started to cry. "Oh shit--Jer, I'm so sorry, I-" Jeremy hung up the call and curled into a ball as he started to sob.

"Jeremy! Are you okay?" Michael asked, slamming open the door and running to his boyfriend. Jeremy pushed him away, tears streaming down his face. "No! Go away!" Jeremy yelled, wiping away tears with his sleeve, ignoring how they kept coming.

The colour drained out of Michael's face. He hadn't expected Jeremy to fall for it. "Jeremy.." He was quickly interrupted. "No! No, Michael! 'Baby Boy'? Rich? You were cheating on me?" Jeremy shouted, standing up. Michael glanced at his phone on the table, lighting up with apology texts from Rich. "Jeremy-"

"No! Go awa-"

Jeremy was cut off by Michael's lips crashing into his. "Jeremy, it was a prank. They were all pranks," Michael said softly. Jeremy stood, his eyes wide and his arms cradling himself. Michael got his phone and showed Jeremy the texts between him and Rich discussing the prank. "I'm so sorry. I didn't expect for you to actually fall for it," Michael said quietly. There was a moment of silence before Jeremy flung himself at Michael.

"You dick, I thought you were cheating on me. I thought you didn't love me," Jeremy whimpered into Michael's shoulder. "No, Jer, never. You're the most important person in my life, and I love you more than anything," Michael whispered. Michael scooped Jeremy up and placed him on the bed before hanging up a dreamcatcher above his bed.

"To help me fight away your bad dreams," Michael said, grinning at Jeremy, clearly feeling upset and guilty. Michael laid down and took Jeremy into his arms. "I'm so sorry, baby. I love you," He murmured. "I love you too," Jeremy said softly.

Jeremy slept soundly and woke up to his beautiful boyfriend who he knew was his forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in half an hour because I realized Friday the 13th was ending so here's some trash


	23. Coordinate Sheets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just me documenting yesterday's events at band camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Michael is me and yes I made him play my instrument fUck off

Michael took a deep breath. Everyone was starting to count. The first line of flutes had just started. He glanced nervously at the band director, who was watching everyone with a hawk's gaze.

Michael nervous wiped his hands on his shorts as he chanted the counts. It was his turn next. He tried to ignore how his hands were shaking and how his voice was getting significantly weaker. He marched eight threes, ending with the signature "post-close."

He sighed as Josh started to speak. "Alright guys! Take a drink of water, and when you come back, you'll get coordinate sheets!" He yelled. The band dispersed, nervous energy crackling through the band like lightning.

He stood in the sun and looked at the ground. "I can do this. I can do this. I can do this," He repeated. Each time he said it, he could feel his anxiety attack creeping up even more. He probably would have toppled over the edge if it hadn't been for Jeremy.

"You know, I don't think I'll be able to do this," Jeremy said casually, his bass clarinet hanging from his neck strap. Michael grinned uncertainly before responding. "Yeah, me either," He said shakily.

They continued to chat a bit before Heather Duke came bounding up to them. "Oh my god, I'm so nervous, what about you guys?" She asked, sounding frantic. Jeremy started to talk with her while Michael walked up the slight hill to stand in the shade and talk to Jared.

Jared was standing alone, although he started to smile when Michael showed up. "Weird to see you without your hoodie," Jared said, smirking. Michael lightly pushed the front of his hat down, grinning. "Weird to see you without your glasses, dork," He teased back. Jared stuck his tongue out at him before Heather and Jeremy came back up the hill so the four of them could talk.

However, it wasn't long before the band director tapped on the block, gaining the band's attention. "Alright, I want you to group up by sections! Section leaders, come get your coordinate sheets!" He called. Michael felt his hands immediately start to tremble, and he said a quick goodbye to the other three before walking back over to his section, holding his baritone in an iron grip.

Eventually, the section leader came back. He started to hand them out, and Michael's throat constricted. God, why was he so nervous? It was just band. _'Yeah, except you're a pussy and need validation to not feel worthless and like the complete and utter failure you are,'_ That little voice whispered.

Michael snapped out of it as the leader's gaze landed on him. "Congrats, Michael," He said, grinning at Michael, who was over the moon. He turned around and took a couple of deep breaths to avoid crying. He turned back around when he heard the leader start to speak. "Raleigh, Zak, I'm sorry you guys didn't make it," He said genuinely. Raleigh was clearly upset, having started to cry. Zak looked mildly bothered, but Michael was too excited to be too concerned.

He looked around and saw Heather and Jared standing with their trombones in their left hands and their coordinate sheets in their right.

He managed too catch Jeremy's attention. Jeremy gave him a big smile and and thumbs up, clearly excited for his best friend. Michael felt on top of the world; nothing was going to bring him down now.

_You did it, Mell._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had anxiety attacks before and my friend was talking to me this morning and she legit said to me: "Yeah I'm so nervous I'm like having an anxiety attack." 
> 
> And for some reason I got so high key triggered I told her that she wasn't having an anxiety attack then proceeded to explain how she wasn't and she looked fuckin pissed


	24. Vent.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW!: Suicidal thoughts

"Michael! Come look!"

Michael grinned and bounded over to his younger brother, who was standing near the edge of the Grand Canyon. "Michael, look!" The six year old shrieked gleefully. Michael chuckled and picked him up, moving him farther away from the edge.

After he put his brother down, Michael turned back to the edge. The sun was setting, and it turned the sky into beautiful shades of red, orange, pink, purple, blue, and indigo. Michael sighed contentedly as he looked at the sky.

His eyes dropped down to the canyon and his breath hitched in his throat.

_"You could do it."_

It was such a long way down. Michael breathily laughed before sliding his headphones over his ears. It muffled all sounds...except for the ones in his head. 

_"This is your chance. Do it."_

Why was it speaking? Michael knew he had gotten better. His anxiety was starting to come back, but that was okay. He knew he wasn't suicidal anymore. He had friends and family and so much to look forward to.

_"You wouldn't be a burden anymore. Jeremy would finally be released of his chains to you, you worthless piece of shit."_

Michael shook his head slightly. No, that wasn't true. It wasn't true. He told himself it wasn't true and it only fueled the voice.

_"Your problems would finally be solved. No one would have to be around you anymore."_

Michael had unconsciously moved closer to the edge, what some would call dangerously close. One false move and he would fall.

 _"Do it,"_ The voice hissed.

Michael jumped a bit when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He slid his headphones back around his neck as he turned around to see his mother. "Ready, honey? We're going back to the hotel," She said, smiling.

Michael nodded and walked back to the car with her, away from the cliff and his chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a vent so I apologize for the literal garbage I just needed to get it off my mind


	25. Just A Game...Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy celebration!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized I had over 2000 hits??? Thank you so much???
> 
> So here's some cute fluffy stuff!

Jeremy sighed as he tousled his hair. It has been about three months since Christine had broken up with him, and he was okay now. It still hurt a little bit whenever he saw her with Jenna, but he was mostly okay.

Michael had invited the entire group over for a party one Friday night. Jeremy assumed that there was going to be Bob Marley, discontinued sodas, and snacks. Anything and everything that screamed Michael. His phone dinged with a text.

'Hey Player 2! Come on, everyone is here!'

Jeremy smiled slightly and pocketed his phone, walking out of his house in the direction of Michael's home.

 

* * *

 

Michael shifted on his spot on the couch. He jumped when he felt a hand lay in his shoulder. He turned to see Rich smiling at him. "Hey, ith okay. He'll thow, I promith," He said quietly. Michael nodded slowly. 

Rich was the only one who knew how Michael felt about Jeremy and for how long. Seven years. He had liked Jeremy for seven years.

Michael was so deep in his thoughts he didn't hear the door open. "Hey guys, sorry I'm late!" Jeremy called out. Michael snapped out of his head space and looked up towards Jeremy, scrambling off of the couch.

"Hey! Jere! Sit down!" Michael said quickly, gesturing towards the couch. Jeremy chuckled and plopped down. Michael sat next to him, his mood brightened.

"Jerry!" Brooke squealed, standing up to give him a hug. He laughed and hugged her back. "Still Jeremy, Brookie."

She pulled away and sat back down next to her girlfriend, who immediately pulled her closer. "Hey Chloe," Jeremy said, waving to the girl next to Brooke. She waved back and kissed Brooke's head.

"So, Jeremy, how you doing?" Jake asked, grabbing the boy's attention. He shrugged, his expression passive. "Eh. I'm okay. I've gotten over it now," He responded. Rich gave Michael the Look. Michael shook it off and concentrated on the boy beside him.

 

* * *

 

 

After a few minutes of chatting, the group agreed to play Spin the Bottle.

"Yo! Jake! Hurry up!" Rich yelled. There was a moment of silence before the door opened and Jake came bolting out of the bathroom in his socks. He tried to stop but ended up slipping and falling on his ass.

"Yo-ou okay?" Rich managed to get out through laughter, clutching his stomach. Jake grumbled a bit and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just play," He said.

The sat in a circle around the bottle in Michael's basement. Rich grinned and Michael before spinning the bottle.

Michael anxiously watched as it slowed. 

The neck of the bottle landed on Chloe and the bottom pointed towards Jake.

Rich hooted. "Ah, give her a kith!" Jake punched him lightly in the shoulder and cralwd towards Chloe, planting a light kiss on her cheek.

It was spun a couple more times, landing on Jeremy and Rich, Chloe and Michael, and Jeremy and Jake.

Rich spun it once more.

It pointed towards himself and Michael.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Michael chuckled. "Come on, Richard," He said teasingly. Rich grinned at him and started crawling across the floor.

He sat in front of Michael, who rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Richie, it's not like we're about to fuck," Michael said. Rich moved forwards and slowly placed his lips onto Michael's.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Michael's head was spinning. What was happening? Oh, he's kissing Rich. 

But he likes Jeremy, he's liked Jeremy for seven years. So why does this feel so _right?_

It was over too soon. Rich moved away, his cheeks bright red as he crawled back to his spot on the floor. 

Michael couldn't breathe. What the hell? What is this rush of emotions?

Suddenly it clicked. He blinked and cleared his throat. Everyone looked at him as he opened his mouth, looking directly at Rich.

"I think...I think I like you."

Rich's eyes widened. "Dude, what?" He asked, confused. Michael's mouth was dry. "I th-think I like you," He said again. Rich chuckled nervously. "Micha, you've liked thomeone elthe for the patht theven yearth," He said quietly.

The rest of the group was staring at the two, waiting to see how it was going to play out.

"No, Rich. I mean, yeah, I did like Jeremy for the past seven years, but...b-but I'm pretty sure I like you," Michael responded. Jeremy gasped a little. "Dude, you liked me?" He asked softly. Michael flinched.

"Yeah, I mean, I did, but...not a-a-anymore," He said gently, picking at his fingernails. He shrunk back into his hoodie as he saw Rich take in a breath to speak.

"Can we...can we take this upthtairth?"

 

 

* * *

 

 

Michael sat on his bed, curling up into his hoodie. Rich stood by the door, pacing.

"Tho, let me get this thtraight. You liked Jeremy."

"Yes."

"But then you kithed _me_ , and now you like _me_ inthtead and _not_ Jeremy?"

Michael tried to ignore how his hands were shaking. "Yes."

"And you're pothitive you like me now? And thath itth not some Chrithtine with Jeremy thing?" Rich asked, turning around to continue pacing.

"Yes." Michael nervously chewed at his nails. He knew he should have kept it to himself like he did with Jeremy. 

Rich stopped in front of Michael and ran a hand through his hair. "I like you too."

Michael's brain short circuited. "Wait, what?"

"Fuck, Micha. I like you too. I like your hair and your laugh and your eyes and how you're never without your headphoneth and hoodie and that little bit of fat you have and just...everything about you, man. I like it all," Rich rushed out.

Michael was taken aback. He didn't know what to say. The room was dead silent.

Michael stood up slowly and pulled Rich into a kiss, not knowing what else to do. Rich put a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer as Michael out his arms around his waist. 

After a minute or two, the two pulled apart. Neither spoke for a minute. "Wanna be my boyfriend?" Michael asked tentatively. Rich giggled. "Of courth, dork."

 

 

* * *

 

 

They walked back down to the basement, hand in hand. Jake cheered when he saw them. "Finally! Rich has been pining after you since sophomore year!" He exclaimed. Michael looked and Rich, who was blushing. "That long?" He teased.

"Thut up, you liked Jere for longer," Rich said, standing on his toes to give Michael another kiss. Michael smiled. "Love you," He murmured, just loud enough for Rich to hear. "Love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for the comments and the bookmarks and the kudos and just clicking on it; it really gives me confidence to keep writing. Thank you!
> 
> I loved writing Rich's lisp, I love my baby boy


	26. Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael pining over his boyfriend....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pan Michael and Bi Jeremy because this is a sweet little chapter for my wonderful boyfriend

Michael buried his head in his hands, dropping his phone on his bed.

He squealed, then immediately blushed harder.

_Holy fuck, he just squealed like a teenage girl._

He picked his phone up and smiled at the message that had popped up on his screen. "brb while i giggle for a few minutes".

Eight simple words, enough to make his heart melt. Michael laughed quietly. As he quickly typed back. "Awww".

He flopped down onto his pillow, shoving his face into it in an effort to contain himself.

He turned his head and stared at his phone, a small smile playing at his lips.

How did Jeremy Heere make him crumble to wonderful little pieces in just under a month?

His mind settled on the most logical explanation: Jeremy was magical.

It took seven months for his previous boyfriend to make him fall to pieces like this, and he wasn't with his girlfriends long enough to make him like this.

So how the fuck did Jeremy do it within a month?

Michael shook the question from his head and stared up at the ceiling.

_God, he was head over heels for this boy, and he loved every single second of it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you <3
> 
> Also sorry this was so short but it was fluffy and for a specific person
> 
> Important!: Everybody go check out DarkHallway! He writes really cool and really good shit! Go read it!


	27. Glassesless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> E x p e n s i v e h e a d p h o n e s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw two works on glassesless Michael and decided "Hell yes, I need to jump on this train too!" So.....here you go

Michael animatedly gestured in the air while talking. "Oh--shit!" He exclaimed, having knocked his glasses off his face. He blindly grabbed on the table to find them.

He chuckled when Jeremy handed them to him. He started to clean the lenses while still talking. "Anyways, as I was saying, I--"

He started to lift his glasses back onto his face and was immediately interrupted by a chorus of "No, wait"s.

"What? Is there something on my face?" He asked, chuckling nervously. "N-No, it's just you look different. Like...waaayyyyyy different," Jake supplied.

Michael shoved his glasses back on. "Yeah, well, don't expect to see that shit again anytime soon," He mumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Michael, he didn't--"

Michael interrupted Brooke with a small, saracastic, "Yeah, okay."

He put his headphones over his ears and turned on his music, the soft sounds of piano filtering through. He laid his head down on his arms and closed his eyes. 

* * *

 

 **SmolBi** : Jer I have a problem

 **I'mHeere** : Yeah dude, what's up?

 **SmolBi** : I think, uh

 **SmolBi** : I think I like Michael?

 **I'mHeere** : Wow

 **I'mHeere** : Okay

 **I'mHeere** : Um

 **I'mHeere** : What makes you think that?

 **SmolBi** : idk man but like whenever he laughs it always makes my heart jump and when he smiles my stomach feels like it's in a lot of knots and it's so adorable when he's excited and then today when he was upset I just kinda wanted to hold him until he calmed down

 **SmolBi** : I told Jake about it and he gave me the Look and said in the plainest voice possible: You like him

 **SmolBi** : And then I was like oh shit I like him

 **SmolBi** : and like don't get me wrong I had these feelings like right after I got out of the hospital

 **I'mHeere** : dude its the middle of our senior year

 **SmolBi** : I know, Jeremy

 **SmolBi** : anyway, I've had these feelings since I got out of the hospital but like seeing him without his glasses really kinda just did me in

 **SmolBi** : they're so big and soft and brown and beautiful and I

 **SmolBi** : I'm way head over heels for him

 **SmolBi** : Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw, man

 **I'mHeere** : lmao, Rich just tell him

 **SmolBi** : I don't think I can????

 **I'mHeere** : yeah you can, he's at his house rn, go get him tiger

 **SmolBi** : Jeremy I cannot?????

 **I'mHeere** : don't make me bring Christine into this

 **SmolBi** : Why are you pushing me so hard?

 **I'mHeere** : I'm sorry, I'm not trying to. It's just...now's the perfect opportunity and I know things

 **SmolBi** : I'm gonna go over there just to see if I chicken out or not

 **I'mHeere** : ???okay????

* * *

 

Rich knocked on the door to Michael's house, rocking back on his heels. He heard a thump followed by a loud "Ow, shit!" before the door opened. 

Michael stood there holding his elbow, which had started to bleed. "Oh, hey, Rich," He said, wincing in pain.

"Hey, Michael. I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out? And also, if I could help you with that?" Rich asked, pointing to Michael's bleeding elbow.

Michael shrugged. "Yeah, okay." He moved to the side to let Rich in. As he looked down to take off his shoes, he noticed Michael was just wearing socks.

He chuckled. "Are those why you ran into the wall?" He asked, leading Michael to the kitchen.

"Heh, yeah. I was trying to slide to the door like I normally do, but I couldn't stop and instead ran into the doorframe," Michael explained.

Rich hummed, searching in Michael's cabinets for hydrogen peroxide and bandaids. As soon as he found them, he thunked them next to Michael and grabbed a paper towel. 

"I need you to sit down, please," Rich said, pointing the the chair next to the items on the dining table.

"Noooooo, hydrogen peroxide stings," Michael whined. "So does banging your elbow into a doorframe so hard you bleed. Now, shh."

Rich cleaned and bandaged his wound, humming to himself. "Why are you so happy?" Michael asked curiously. Rich tensed before forcing himself to relax. 

_Because I'm here with you and you're letting me help you._

"Just had a good day, that's all. You?" Rich asked. "Well, my day has been...meh. It would have been better without the thing at lunch, but--" He chuckled. "What can you do?" 

Rich looked at Michael. "Dude, it wasn't...it wasn't what you think."

Michael scoffed lightly.

"Michael, you're hot without your glasses. I mean, you're extremely attractive with them on, but we really got to see your eyes and I think that your eyes are gorgeous--I'm sorry, I'm rambling," Rich rushed.

Michael stared at him, wide eyes. "What?"

Rich swallowed and nodded. Michael leaned back in his chair and took off his glasses, grinning at the blurry figure that was Rich.

"So I'm hot, huh?"

Rich took his glasses from him and placed them on the table. "You're hot either way," He said quietly. Here goes nothing.

"Can I talk to you about something?" The words were out of Rich's mouth before he had fully thought it through, and he mentally kicked himself.

Michael slid his glasses back on. "Yeah, what's up?" 

Rich stood for a few seconds, anxiously wringing his hands. He took a deep breath. 

"I like you."

* * *

 

Michael's mind blanked. Rich liked...him? He has so many options, so why him? He refocused his attention on Rich.

"Heh, um, w-what? This isn't fu-funny, man," Michael said nervously. Rich shook his head, his face getting redder by the second.

"No, I'm not kidding. I like you a lot. I have since I got out of the hospital last year. I wasn't going to tell you, b-but Jeremy pushed me to, so I came over just to see if there was an option for me to."

Michael breathily laughed. "Wow. That's...that's something," He said quietly. He saw Rich deflate and immediately backtracked.

"Wait, hold on, that's not--shit--that's not what I meant, I--" He sighed and started again. 

"I like you too. I have even before the Squip thing happened. Even when you bullied me, I would still see you be really sweet to someone else, and it brought hope that maybe, just maybe, you would be like that with me one day," Michael rushed out, thankfully not tripping over his words.

Rich sniffed quietly and Michael immediately stood and embraced him. "What's wrong?" He asked softly, smiling a bit when he felt Rich press himself into Michael. 

"I was su-uch a d-dick to you, I'm so so-orry," Rich hiccuped. Michael rubbed his back. "Shhh, it's okay. That was in the past. It's okay," Michael said comfortingly. Rich nodded slowly.

He pulled away a little and look up at Michael. "Can I kiss you?" He asked hesitantly. Michael nodded.

Rich closed his eyes and leaned up, pressing his lips against Michael's. They broke apart after a few seconds and Michael immediately had a dorky grin on his face.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," He breathed, plopping down in the chair. He pulled Rich onto him with a small scream of surprise from the other boy.

There was a moment of silence before Michael spoke. "That was my first kiss, you know?"

Rich pulled back to look at Michael, wide-eyed. "Really? Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I--"

Michael cut him off with another kiss. "Hey, it's okay. After all, I did consent," He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Rich chuckled and leaned back into Michael, his head on Michael's shoulder. "Dork," He whispered, his voice bursting with affection and happiness.

"Only yours," Michael whispered back.

And for once, Michael didn't mind being called a dork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael listens to soft piano music to calm himself down thank you for coming to my ted talk


	28. Please Listen Carefully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vent + a moral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo it's officially been 3 months since I started this story thing 
> 
> Also this is a vent with something that freaks me out to the point of anxiety attacks. I know it's ooc for this character, but I relate to him the closest and his relationship with his beat friend is....nearly identical to the relationship with mine.

Michael laid back onto the bed, relaxing into the atmosphere. Despite everything that had happened, he had missed this.

He had missed the staying up late, the laughter late into the night, the video games, the movies, the knock off therapy/vent sessions.

He had missed it, and now he had it back.

He picked up Jeremy's controller and started browsing. "Oh! Hey, Jeremy, you said you wanted to watch the movie with the people trapped at the bottom of the ocean, right?"

Jeremy perked up a bit. "Yeah! Is it on Netflix?"

Michael nodded and clicked play on the movie. He had already seen it before, so it shouldn't bother him too much.

He opened Tumblr and started browsing, clicking on a tag and scrolling through the posts.

He glanced at the TV and smiled. They were just getting onto the boat, so things should start to pick up soon. He continue to scroll through the tag. 

He jumped a bit when he heard the first scream. His eyes snapped up to the TV and his breath hitched in his throat.

The two girls were screaming as they fell down, deeper and deeper and it seemed like there was no end until they hit the ocean floor.

One of the two was hyperventilating, and the other one was screaming about how she was going to lose her oxygen if she kept going.

Michael gulped and averted his eyes, discreetly wiping his palms on his shorts. Damn. He knew deep water made him anxious, but an attack? Not in front of Jeremy, not now....

He couldn't immerse himself in his phone anymore. His brain stayed in high alert, intently listening to every sound the movie provided. 

"Oh my god, the sharks!"

Michael ignored how his hands started to shake when he looked up at the screen to see a massive shark nipping at the small girl in the cage.

Michael head felt a bit fuzzy as one of the girls started screaming about there being someone in the water to rescue them.

He continued to get deeper into the tag, swallowing hard when he heard someone scream: "Oh my god, he's dead!"

He had finally started to somewhat calm down when it picked up again, and then it became too much.

The screaming, the growling, the clanging, the bubbling sound of the water, the clicking of the flashlight, everything.

He stumbled off of the bed, rocketing towards his bag. He fell to his knees and started to untangle his headphone cord. "Michael?"

Jeremy was next to him. "Michael? Hey, are you okay?" Michael nodded, wiping at the tears threatening to spill over. The girls on screen continued to shriek, and Michael'a chest tightened. 

He was shaking too much to get his cord into his headphone jack. "Y-Yeah,I'm fi-fine, just wa-atch the mo-mo-movie," Michael managed.

Jeremy got up and paused the movie before coming back to sit next to Michael, who had gotten the cord into the jack. "Michael? Hey, it's okay, I promise. I didn't like the movie anyway. Too freaky," Jeremy said, trying to interject some humour into the situation to help put Michael at ease.

And it worked. Michael still felt awful, but he felt a bit better. "Thanks Jere," He mumbled. Jeremy grinned. "Anytime."

 

* * *

 

Michael was glad he had gotten some sleep. Spending the night at Jeremy's one night and Chloe's the next would have been tough if he didn't get any sleep.

Everyone was curled up on the couch as Chloe scrolled through horror movies to watch.

Michael was immersed in his phone, a blush dusting his cheeks. "Talking to Leo?" Rich asked. Michael nodded and stared at his phone, a dopey smile in his face.

He shut off his phone and turned his attention to the TV. "Alright, what are we watching?" He asked excitedly. "I don't know," Jeremy responded casually. "I get scared easily, guys," Brooke complained.

"Pussy!" Michael said jokingly, chuckling when Brooke stuck her tongue out at him.

Rich scoffed. "At least she doesn't have anxiety attacks over something like deep water," He sneered.

Michael felt his smile falter and become fake, but he still held it up.

Jeremy's eyes widened, staring at Rich.

"Look, dude, the sharks are a part of it," Michael said, trying to lighten the mood. "And I get its stupid, you don't have to tell me that. I don't need to hear it if I already know it," Michael finished.

He fought against the tears threatening to rise up. He turned his phone on and texted his boyfriend, desperate for some kind of comfort. He just needed to hear the lightheartedness that he always provided.

And he did. Soon enough, the incident was pushed to the back of Michael's mind and he had the dopey, love struck smile on his face once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, please listen.
> 
> Please do not do what Rich (my friend) did. Please do not tell someone that something that freaks them out is idiotic. Chances are, they think that too. Even though the fear might be completely rational, that is NOT something to say to someone at all. So please...don't do it. It's damaging to the relationship and the person (at least in my case).


	29. That's Edgy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just this really short instance that I found funny when it happened

Nobody except his friends knew Jeremy Heere was trans. So, when Jeremy moved schools, he was excited to finally be able to introduce himself as Jeremy.

Even though he still looks like a girl.

Oh well. Jeremy is short for Jeremiah, which his parents insisted was unisex.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey, what's your name?"

Jeremy lit up. "Je--"

His new friend piped up. "Oh, that's Jeremiah! She's my friend," He said helpfully.

Jeremy couldn't help but wince at the female pronoun. "Actually, I prefer to go by Jeremy," He told the girl who asked.

She nodded and moved back to where she was supposed to be, and Jeremy's friend leaned over.

"Jeremiah, you can't change your name, that's edgy," He insisted.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "It's not edgy, and I have my reasons."

He couldn't help the chuckle that escaped from the thought that being trans and changing your name to something more fitting was actually just considered edgy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 2666 VIEWS! *evil laugh*
> 
>  
> 
> I A M S A T A N


	30. Letter To Myself

Dear Evan Hansen,

This week has not been a very good week.

Connor decided to disown you as a friend, which you deserve. After all, who wants to be friends with someone like you? You're just an anxiety attack waiting to happen.

You and Connor made up. Alana yelled at you, and of course you started to cry. So, you ran and hid in the girls' bathroom. 'Fuck up. You'll never be a boy. Pathetic. Hiding in a girl's bathroom.' Connor asked if you were okay, so you lied and said yes. He yelled at you and slammed the door, so, if course, you almost broke down again.

Later that day, the director told you to group up by section. You would have been fine, except that Alana was in your section. You didn't want to see Alana; you wanted to disappear, which would be better for all parties affected.

So what did you do? You had an anxiety attack. And then Jared hugged you, and you lost it, and started sobbing. Of course, Jeremy was hanging around, super concerned. 

But you don't deserve it. You don't deserve to have people care about you. All you do is waste their time and energy. 

School is too stressful. Three breakdowns and counting for just this week; the second week of school. According to everyone, it's just going to get worse.

So you've finally realized. Today was not a good day. It was not a good week. It wasn't really a good month. And so, it probably won't be a very good year either.

Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend,

Me.


	31. The Italian Renaissance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hA

Jared resisted the urge to smash his head into the table.

"Dude, it's okay," Michael said, leaning his head on his hand to watch Jared furiously take notes.

"No!" Jared screeched. An amused smile spread across Michael's face. "No, it's not okay! I've got another entire lesson's notes to take and a quiz in sixth period that I can't take without the notes!"

After a few more minutes of Jared furiously scribbling down his notes, he leaned his head on the book.

"I hate the Italian Renaissance so much," He mumbled. "Oh, it's okay," Evan said soothingly.

Jared chuckled. "I would say I hate the Italian Renaissance almost as much as I hate myself, but the Italian Renaissance doesn't deserve that much hate," He joked.

Evan and Michael both laughed at his joke, and it even got a chuckle from Connor and Jeremy. 

He smiled at their laughter, almost joining in, but his mind was breaking apart piece by piece; he could feel it. Plus, he didn't have the energy to laugh at himself.

_He screamed. He screamed, he yelled, and cried. He begged, he pleaded with them to help him, but they couldn't hear. Tears ran down his face and he angrily wiped them away, but more replaced them immediately. "Help me! I can't do this, I can't live with myself! I hate it, I hate it so much!" He cried. He screamed until he was hoarse, the black walls caving in on him. He couldn't breathe. "Just end it, please," He begged. He fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep himself together. "Please," he whispered, his voice a broken sob in the suffocating white noise all around him._

He picked his head up off his book and sighed. "Better get back to work," He said, grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! You guys! I've got news!
> 
> Okay, so I'm going to be doing a revision of Flawed Imperfections. I recently read through it all and was kinda unhappy with the way a lot of things were. I rushed everything, I was repetitive and contradicting, and Evan like?? Has a stroke??? But he just spends a night in the hospital and is fine and I never explain what happened???
> 
> anYWAY, yes! I am going to be doing that again. I don't know how long it will be, but probably soon. Maybe tonight. Alright. Look out for that! *awkward finger guns*


	32. Author's Note

If you're reading this, I would like for you to please take a moment to mourn the tragic event that happened at the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001. Pray for those families that lost their loved ones, and for everyone who was lost in the event. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Sammy.


	33. Ingredients

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael asks Jeremy to prom in a creative way, but it doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend came up with this prompt so yeet

Michael took a nervous breath, leading his head on his hands. He could do this. He had spent an hour last night changing the ingredients on a Mountain Dew Red bottle to say "Prom?"

He was going to ask Jeremy today. 

He raised his head and honked his horn a couple of times, signaling he was there. A moment passed, and Jeremy came running out of the house, grinning.

He clamored into the car, clumsily planting a kiss on Michael's cheek. "Woah, you're in a hurry, huh?" Michael chuckled.

Jeremy pulled out his Algebra II homework, his pencil gliding across the page. "I forgot to do my algebra homework," He breathed.

Michael pulled out of Jeremy's driveway, a nervous blush dusting his cheeks.

 

* * *

 

By the time the two got to school, Michael was an anxious mess. He finally managed to work if the courage to give the bottle to Jeremy.

"J-Jere," Michael said softly. Jeremy turned to look at him, smiling. "Yeah?"

Michael clumsily pulled the bottle out of his backpack and shoved it into Jeremy's lap, his breathing shallow. His hands were shaking badly, and he could feel himself sweating. "Do-on't th-throw it a-away," He heard himself say.

Jeremy gave him a strange smile and put the bottle in his bag. "Okay. Thanks, I guess?" He said, his voice jumping up at the end to make it sound like a question.

Michael winced, and turned away. Jeremy reached out to ask him what was wrong, but the bell had just rung. 

Michael slung his bag over his shoulder and walked away, his shoulders slumped downwards. Jeremy stood helplessly behind him, wondering what he did wrong.

 

* * *

 

Later that week, Jeremy called Christine in a panic. She picked up on the second ring.

"Chris! Michael has been really depressed all week and I don't know what I did wrong and he still hasn't asked me to prom and I'm scared he's going to break up with me and-"

Christine cut Jeremy off with a noise from the back of her throat. "Jeremy, stop working yourself up into a panic. He's not going to break up with you, I promise."

Jeremy made a choked noise, tears making his eyes shine. "How do you know? He still hasn't even asked me to prom," He said, his voice breaking at the end.

He and Michael had talked about this, and Michael knew how much prom meant to Jeremy. There was no other option than that Michael was going to end things.

"Jeremy. Michael did ask you to prom," Christine said plainly. Jeremy furrowed his eyebrows, even though she couldn't see.

He dropped his phone on his bed and put her on speaker. He grabbed at his hair, grunting in frustration. "He didn't! He--"

Jeremy paused, something clicking in his mind. He rocketed off of his bed and rummaged around in his backpack before he pulled out the bottle of Mountain Dew Red Michael had given him.

Jeremy examined it carefully, his mind blanking when he read the "ingredients".

_Prom?_

The word stared up at him, and he felt his chest tighten.

"Christine I gotta go!" He called as he sprinted out of his room and down the stairs. He continued to run, his legs pumping as he booked it down the block to the Mell's home.

 

* * *

 

Michael sniffed as he blasted Bob Marley in his headphones to make himself feel better, trying to drown out his thoughts.

He had already gotten his tux, and he knew Jeremy had as well, but he couldn't help feeling like it was a waste of money at this point.

Suddenly, before he could react, the basement door slammed open and Jeremy was in his lap, crying.

Michael wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, his troubles pushed to the back of his mind. "Jere-bear? What's wrong?"

Jeremy sniffled, out of breath from running and crying. He looked up at Michael, tears streaming down his cheeks, unable to catch his breath.

"I-I'm an idi-iot," He cried softly, tightening his grip around Michael. Michael furrowed his eyebrows, pulling Jeremy closer. "Who said that?" He asked, concerned.

"M-Me," Jeremy murmured, starting to calm down now that he was in Michael's arms. "You asked m-me out an-and I didn't re-realize; I th-thought you were gonna b-break up with me," He whispered. 

Michael flinched a bit at the reminder of his asking Jeremy to prom. "I would never break up with you," He said soothingly.

Jeremy looked up at Michael, their eyes meeting. "Yes," Jeremy said softly. Michael's eyebrows twitched; he was confused. 

"Yes, I'll go to prom with you," Jeremy giggled. Michael's face lit up and he smashed his lips onto Jeremy's, overjoyed.

He ran his tongue along Jeremy's bottom lip, drawing a whimper out of the other boy.

They pulled back after a little bit, both gasping for air. "I love you," Jeremy whispered desperately.

Michael nodded, his eyes soft. "I love you too."

 

* * *

 

"Jeremy! Let's go, we're going to be late!" Michael called upstairs. Jeremy came down, his smiling huge.

Michael's eyes widened as he took in Jeremy; he was gorgeous. After he finished eye-fucking Jeremy (he was saving the real fucking for afterwards), the two got in his car and drove to the school.

 

* * *

 

Jeremy leaned his head on Michael's shoulder, their breaths mingling. The song in the background was slow, the perfect song for dancing.

"I love you, my precious Michael," Jeremy breathed.

Michael tightened his grip on his boyfriend a little bit. "I love you too, my lovely flower."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! Remember how I mentioned waaayyyy earlier in these that I had a folder filled with short one-shots? Yeah, well, I'm going to be posting all of them. Tonight. Have fun! (Mwahahaha)


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